A simple yes today (1/31)
Still scared of the dark (1/30
When it could have been me (1/28)
Clean out the clutter—physical and spiritual (1/24)
What’s on your nightstand? Jan ’13 (1/22)
Without your story of the gospel (1/21)
If you listen, you’ll hear (1/18)
Let’s mean it—“God bless you!” (1/17)
When shame stings (1/14)
My first daybook of 2013—January (1/10)
Why memorize Psalm 71? (1/9)
Free resources for memorizing Psalm 71 (1/8)
Where is God’s house? (1/7)
One word 2013—Jesus (1/3)
Register—Bible Memory Challenge Psalm 71 (1/2)
JANUARY 2013 Posts
A simple yes today
I used to think you had to be special for God to use you, but now I know you simply need to say yes.
BOB GOFF, Love Does
I want to say yes to Psalm 71 this season.
- Yes to continually going to the Lord as my refuge (Psalm 71:3)
- Yes to letting him be my main hope (Psalm 71:5)
- Yes to praising him more and more (Psalm 71:6)
But for every opportunity to say yes,
I also have a chance to say no.
- No to clicking on Scripture Typer to learn new verses
- No to taking five minutes in the afternoon to review old verses
- No to asking God to deliver me, rescue me. Again.
Because by the end of April, the only way I’ll extraordinarily know 24 new verses—in the ultimate quest to better know the extraordinary Lord they’re talking about—is if I do ordinary things each day.
If I say yes today.
To the small things.
Nothing special.
Just a little.
I’ll give God my simple yes now.
And trust he’ll multiply it into something special later.
* * *
What little thing are you saying yes to today?
Still scared of the dark
And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.
And God saw that the light was good. And God separated the light from the darkness.
Genesis 1:3-4
I’m still scared of the dark.
I can’t seem to fully outgrow it.
But I can do things in the light that I’m scared to do in the dark.
So when R needed a ride home last Wednesday with her three boxes of food, I eagerly volunteered to take her. Even though I’d just met her and didn’t know where she lived. All because it was still light.
She directed me left, then right, then fourth door on the right. We were now in the projects.
I stopped the car in the one-lane drive in front of her place. But as we unloaded the boxes, another car pulled up behind me, with no room to pass. I said a rushed good-bye to R and moved along.
But leaving wasn’t so easy. Going forward, I intersected another one-way street, but which way was the right way? A couple cars drove by me from the north, but north was also the only exit in sight. I needed to get out while it was still light. While I could still see.
I backed up, let the cars pass, then drove forward again, north, and out, leaving the projects behind.
Still in daylight. Made it. But had it been dark, I would have been scared. And maybe rightly so. Scarier things do happen in the dark.
So I’m thankful I don’t have to live there. In the dark. Instead, I live in perpetual Light. Light from the inside (Ephesians 5:8). Light even from sundown to sunrise.
I still try to stay out of the shadows when I can, but when I need to shine a light in a dark place, I want to be brave enough to go there.
Because I can do things with Light that I’m scared to do in dark. Like drive to the projects with a girl I just met. And talk to her about Jesus. And continue to pray for her and her 1-year-old baby girl and hopefully get a conversation going should I see her again this week.
I pray for grace to outgrow my fear of the dark. Of the things I imagine are lurking there to grab me. And leave behind the nightmares of turning on a light switch but no light coming on (anybody else have those?).
But until I do, I want to keep looking into the Light. So I can see.
That he’s always there.
Always bright.
Always on.
Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
John 8:12
* * *
Are you ever scared of the dark, too? What helps you fight it?
When it could have been me
I can't shake the scene. This one from Wednesday night.
How many times have I seen somebody jaywalk across the seven lanes on University Drive? Just a quick dash to the Chevron. Sometimes a kid on a bike. Sometimes a man on foot.
Maybe I even saw it on my drive into Huntsville Wednesday afternoon.
But not on my drive back. Because on the way back, a 63-year-old man never made it all the way across.
And while I didn’t see it happen, I could have.
It could have even been me in the car that hit him.
Just minutes earlier, my lady friends and I had ended our Bible study time at Joe Muggs in Books-a-Million. We made plans for a new meeting place, talked about what to study next, and were saying good-byes. I lingered an extra minute to talk to Kay, but it was cold, so not for long.
I pulled out onto University. Something was wrong. Too many lights ahead—police, ambulance, fire trucks. The red light at Pulaski Pike stopped me. I pulled up Twitter in the pause:
BREAKING: Huntsville Police are on the scene of a traffic fatality on University Drive near Pulaski. East bound lanes are being closed.
A fatality. A pedestrian, struck and killed.
So I turned right and avoided it.
Because I could.
Because if I had only left a short conversation earlier, the 63-year-old man—“Pops”—might have run out in front of me, and I might have been driving the car that hit him.
And my life then—like his now—would have been changed forever.
Sometimes I ask, “Why me?”
But sometimes I ask, “Why not me?”
This was the latter. Thank you, God, for sparing me direct involvement in this story. Be with the ones not spared, of the guilt or of a death in the family.
Because it could have been me.
But this time it wasn’t.
* * *
How have you seen God’s grace in your own life lately?
Clean out the clutter – physical and spiritual
“All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be enslaved by anything.
1 Corinthians 6:12
We used these two boxes for years: one was for schoolwork to be graded, one was for work already graded and ready to be filed.
I’ve thrown both boxes away. And emptied the garbage can. Again.
I’m cleaning out.
Since I’m no longer homeschooling—for the first time in almost 20 years—I’m dedicating this no-longer-schooling-year to getting rid of clutter. To letting go of things unneeded. To clearing out space from the past to make room for the future.
But it’s hard. Oh, so hard.
I like to hold on. To what’s comfortable and safe and known. But when it no longer serves me, it turns into clutter.
And clutter never helps; it hurts. It intrudes into my breathing space, stifling deep lungfuls of fresh air. Clutter kills creativity. It complicates. It tethers.
Who needs that?
Do I really need to keep yesterday’s maggot-infested manna?
Think I might use it later?
Afraid I can’t find it somewhere else if I do want it?
Or can I let go of what I no longer need or use so someone else who needs it can use it? And I can be free.
What clutter do I need to hand over?
Physically, if I haven’t used it in a year, two years, three, let it go.
- Books I’ll never read twice
- Jackets I haven’t worn in forever (or ever?)
- Documents that have outlived their purpose
- Purses given to me that aren’t me
But what about spiritual clutter? Don’t I have that too? If it has too many holes or doesn’t match truth or never fits what God’s called me to do, let it go.
- Traditions that miss (and perhaps even mask?) the target
- Doctrines not founded on God’s eternal truths
- Guilt, worries, sins that no longer bind me
- Rules that are man-made instead of God-commanded
God wants me to live free of spiritual clutter, too. To follow his Son with no baggage. To breathe deeply of his Spirit.
I don’t have to hoard the goods. God owns the storehouse, and he’s never stingy. His provisions overflow and are available on an as-needed basis.
He gives freely to open and empty hands, refilling them with relevant things, new things, now things.
I think he’s okay with me hanging on to a few homeschooling books (okay, several) that carry sentimental memories. Or ones I’ll read together with my future grandkids. Or ones I just enjoy reading myself now.
But the clutter needs to keep leaving me.
Because God is plenty in my present.
And I want no clutter from my past hindering my walk with him in our future.
Nothing is as wonderful as knowing Christ Jesus my Lord. I have given up everything else and count it all as garbage. All I want is Christ and to know that I belong to him. . . .
Philippians 3:8-9 (CEV)
* * *
I’m working hard to clean out bookshelves.
What space do you need to clean up?
What’s on your nightstand? Jan ‘13
Evidence here of the library run I made over Christmas break. I picked up several from my to-do list that were as fascinating as I had hoped!
Just started
by Kati Woronka
A very fascinating woman, author Kati Woronka. I’ve been glimpsing life in the Middle East through her blog for a few years. I consider her an online friend and teacher.
Now she’s written a novel about young women in Syria and I’m happy to read it, not only for entertainment but also to discover more about the Syrian culture and learn how to better pray for the real people who live there—many dear to Kati’s heart—whose lives have been turned upside down by daily and deadly conflicts in the region.
A picture of Kati with the artwork for her book cover
(stole it off your Facebook page, Kati. It and you are lovely!)
Discover a Secretly Incredible Life in an Ordinary World
by Bob Goff
My friend Amber piqued my curiosity so much about this book that I have no choice but to read it. I’m prepared to be uncomfortably challenged in a way fitting for my spiritual resolutions for this year. I’m on chapter four and Adam tells me the best stories are still to come!
I learned that fully loving and fully living are not only synonymous but the kind of life that Jesus invited us to be part of.
- BOB GOFF
Still reading
A Theography
by Leonard Sweet, Frank Viola
This isn’t a typical book about the life of Jesus. It’s much more, collecting multiple stories in the Bible into one beautiful story about Jesus. It’s the kind of book you read slowly. It also got me hooked on reading Viola’s blog (not for the traditionally-minded, I’ll warn you) and am deciding which of his books I want to read next.
How a Liberated Woman Found Herself Sitting on Her Roof, Covering Her Head, and Calling Her Husband Master
by Rachel Held Evans
The authenticity I see chapter after chapter is one thing that keeps me reading Rachel’s journey. She is a true Christ-seeker, an intellectual who is not content with reading only, but experimenting with what the doing can look like.
Finished from December’s nightstand
A Geography of Faith
by Barbara Brown Taylor
Oh, I loved this book! So much that I bought my own copy after I read the library’s copy. This and The Good and Beautiful God are two books I plan to use each month of 2013 to carry out my One Word 2013—“Jesus.” Taylor writes very personally of her faith in God, but in a way that invites you to join her. And I will.
Magicians, Mentalists, Math Geeks, and the Hidden Powers of the Mind
by Alex Stone
I’ve never been particularly drawn to magic, but no matter; Stone captivatingly pulls me into this world anyway. Well-written and entertaining, this book is a behind-the-scenes look at modern magicians and what drives them. Who knew?
The Power of Boundless Compassion
by Gregory Boyle
Another great book. Boyle is a hard-working priest helping young men and women break free of gangs in Los Angeles. His stories testify to what God can do through those willing to show love to those sometimes hardest to love. He inspires me to look at people differently and with more compassion.
by Mitch Albom
This novel is oddly uncomfortable. But maybe because it’s about time, an area I fight with in my own life (I always want more and have to pray often for contentment and good use of the amount God gives me). Albom draws together characters who want more time and less time into one wild story.
The Complete Guide to Writing Narrative Nonfiction
by Jack R. Hart
I’ve never wanted to write a novel. But I do like documenting true stories. This book is for people like me. I can’t imagine it not interesting all writers though, regardless of your favored genre. Hart excels at his craft so the book is as much a pleasure to read as it is educational.
How Self-Control Works, Why It Matters, and What You Can Do to Get More of It
by Kelly McGonigal
Who doesn’t need more willpower? I’d recommend this book to anyway wanting more insight into how willpower works. I wouldn’t classify it as a self-help book, but psychologist and professor McGonigal does give practical tips in each chapter. It’s based on her popular course at Stanford University, “The Science of Willpower.”
Some Thoughts on Faith
by Anne Lamott
Anne writes so personally you almost feel like you should close the book and not peek again. She’s gut-level honest about her life and her struggles in and out of faith. With relationships. With church. With parents and children. Her faith may not look like yours or mine in certain aspects, but it’s one worth respecting.
Notes on a Mid-Faith Crisis
by Lauren F. Winner
Another memoir. Winner talks us through her season of despair and doubt as she recovers from a failed marriage. Like Lamott (above), Winner is also brutally open and lays her soul bare as she questions where God is and what’s happening to her faith. Lamott’s book was more insightful to me personally, maybe because she’s older and been through more. But Winner’s book is also a worthy read.
How Our Intuitions Deceive Us
by Christopher Chabris and Daniel Simons
A most fascinating book! If you’ve seen the video experiment, you’ll never where this title comes from (and if you haven’t a clue what I’m talking about, sorry, I can’t spoil it for you by saying more). The authors demonstrate different illusions we cling to but are often false, such as, the illusion of memory, the illusion of confidence, the illusion of cause, etc.
* * *
Oh, and as a pure indulgence, I’m scanning over Divergent again because I’m picking up Insurgent from Jenna this weekend!
What good book have you read lately?
Without your story of the gospel . . .
Sister Elisabeth made me wonder. At the Benedictine Sisters Retreat, she asked us, “Can you imagine not having one of the gospels?”
We were spending the day looking at the gospel of Luke. While Luke shares many stories of Jesus also found in the gospels of Matthew, Mark, and John, he has many unique ones as well.
Without Luke’s account—or any one of the four—we would have an incomplete picture of Jesus.
Without the meticulous documentation of Luke, we would:
- Never know that baby John jumped in Elisabeth’s womb when Jesus, in Mary’s womb, came to visit
- Never hear the beautiful Magnificat sung by Mary when she found out she’d mother the Son of God
- Never know that lowly shepherds were the chosen ones to first hear the good news of Jesus’ birth
- Never read how the elderly Simeon and Anna praised baby Jesus in the temple after waiting, waiting, waiting on him for years
- Never hear a word about 12-year-old Jesus staying behind in Jerusalem to talk with the teachers
- Never be aware that Jesus turned water into wine at a wedding
- Never hear the story of the Good Samaritan or the parables of the prodigal son or the lost sheep or the rich fool or the watchful servant or the rich man and Lazarus or the persistent widow
- Never grasp the hospitality of Martha and Mary
- Never feel the joy of the widow at Nain whose only son was raised by Jesus or the crippled woman healed on the Sabbath or the ten lepers who were made clean
Without these rich pictures of Jesus through the stories of Luke (and other exclusive ones not listed here), we’d know Jesus a little less. Less of his prayer life, his compassion for outcasts, his radical kindness toward women, his joyfulness.
So I wonder. . .
Without you, without me, without others who know Jesus now, would our image of Jesus be a little fuzzier, a little poorer, knowing a little less about him? While we all share common stories, we all have unique ones as well.
- The same Good News but a variety of voices
- The same Hero but a mixture of stories
- The same Family but oh, such diverse members
I grow a little more when I hear your stories of Jesus; perhaps you’re helped when you hear a little more of mine. So you keep telling yours; I’ll keep telling mine.
And together, we’ll know Jesus more and more.
* * *
If you listen, you’ll hear
I hadn’t planned to chase him into a monastery.
You listen for One Word to follow into the new year. 
I hear my One Word—my Logos—“Jesus.”
Then, barely one week steeped in January, I am listening when he says, “Follow me here.”
What else can I do?
But go.
To Sacred Heart Monastery.
For a one-day retreat: “Listening to Luke” with the Benedictine Sisters.
I’ll be listening for Jesus.
But I’m not Catholic. I’m not familiar with the liturgies. With the elaborate artwork. Not even with much of the vocabulary.
So Sister Elisabeth tells me, “Listen to everything.”
Listen not only with my ears, but with all my senses. I listen to her. Gentle. Peace-filled. Assured.
• I hear confidence in Jesus.
I listen to my new Catholic friend Mary answer my questions during break and tour me through the chapel after lunch and explain rituals not easily explained.
• I hear the grace of Jesus.
I listen to voices, united, reciting Psalm 124 for the midday prayer.
• I hear the deliverance of Jesus.
I listen to Sister Benita explain the sisters’ move from Louisiana to Alabama because they take care of their own.
• I hear the compassion from Jesus.
I listen to the beauty in Mary’s Magnificat (Luke 1:46-55), read aloud, then sung to music.
• I hear obedience to Jesus.
I listen to my own heart as I walk the grounds, soaking in the statues, the stillness, the serenity.
• And I hear my Beloved. And my Beloved hears me.
Where will he bid we go next?
I can’t say.
But I can be listening.
* * *
What unexpected place have you heard Jesus speaking lately?
Let’s mean it – “God bless you!”
The LORD bless you and keep you;
the LORD make his face to shine upon you and be gracious to you;
the LORD lift up his countenance upon you and give you peace.
Numbers 6:24-26
My daughter Jenna sneezes in pairs.
Jenna: Achoo!
Me: God bless you.
Jenna: Achoo!
Me: God bless you.
I don’t think twice about my response either time. If you were to sneeze behind me at Kroger, I’d give you a “God bless you,” too. You’d do the same for me, yes?
Are we practicing a spiritual discipline when we say those words? Probably not, if we’re only offering “God bless you” out of cultural habit.
But can offering blessings be an exercise in spiritual discipline? Most definitely. Something as simple as a “God bless you” can be redeemed for His glory.
But why and how should we bless others today?
* * *
I’m writing today at Do Not Depart in our Spiritual Disciplines series.
When have you received a blessing from someone?
Is there someone you can bless this week?
Do you have a favorite scripture of blessing?
When shame stings
Yesterday I remembered it. It’s been awhile since I thought of it. Not long enough?
I was one of two women placed on a committee with several men, formed to carry out a specific task for a specific time. We all were pleasant acquaintances, and some of us genuine friends.
But outside the committee, someone felt offense. In a public forum, he announced the violation of his conscience by women being on the committee. He did so politely, granted, and assured us it was nothing personal.
But still. It stung. It embarrassed.
So rules shifted. We weren’t eliminated from the committee, but our roles lessened.
We pressed on anew, just differently. We completed the task. And that was that.
But yesterday the memory was triggered.
So yesterday, for the briefest of moments, that false feeling of shame associated with the event crept back in. Of being a woman. Of being publicly called out because of it.
The shame is unfounded. I know that now. I knew that then.
But still. It stings. It embarrasses.
Until I remember who I am.
I’m in the bloodline.
The Royal line.
Where no shame lives.
Shame was drowned in the King’s own blood.
So yesterday, I drank up. More of his blood. Into my own.
And I was reminded of my eternal identity, irrespective of old memories. A daughter of the King yesterday. Today. And for all my tomorrows.
I take refuge in his blood. There I am never put to shame.
In you, O LORD, do I take refuge;
let me never be put to shame!
Psalm 71:1
* * *
How do you drown out shame-based memories from your past or present?
My First Daybook of 2013 – January
Outside my window...a moderate 62 degrees this week. Love this kind of winter weather when we can get it.
I am wearing...blue jeans and an Auburn Iron Bowl sweatshirt from years ago
I am wondering...what God will pour out of Psalm 71 as I read it over and over in my attempt to memorize it
I am appreciating...this link so I can watch Downton Abbey from the beginning. I’m still in Season One (so no spoilers please) and I’m loving it so far!
I am hearing...the latest free download from K-Love, Chris Tomlin’s “White Flag” (and thinking of Dianna and Debbie whose One Word is Surrender):
We surrender all to you
We raise our white flag
The war is over
Love has come
Your love has won
I am hoping...to practice my January goal of “waking up to God” and my One Word 2013 “Jesus” by doing something very different this Saturday (for me)
I am going...to a “Day of Reflection” retreat at Sacred Heart Monastery held by the Benedictine Sisters
I am looking forward to...this there: “Listening to Luke: Hearing the Good News”
I am realizing...if I’ll awaken to them, God will always give me fresh opportunities to step into
I am reading...from my December library run, these fascinating books: The Invisible Gorilla, The Willpower Instinct, and Storycraft
I have finally...made the full jump to Goodreads to keep up with the books I’ve read
I am waiting...for Insurgent to become available from my library hold
I am pondering these words...“You only need a tiny scrap of time to move toward God,” from The Cloud of Unknowing.
Laura Winner follows in Still with, “The words slap. Busyness is not much of an excuse if it only takes a minute or two to move toward God.”
I am studying...the discipline of giving blessings for this series on spiritual disciplines at Do Not Depart
I am praying...for a good new semester for Jenna and for wise house buying decisions for Morgan and Fuller
I am thankful for...the sweet ladies in my Wednesday night group who listened to “my story” last night
One of my favorite things...Cadbury Cream Eggs are back! And I have one already, thanks to Kay, who obviously knows my story very well (although Cadbury Cream Eggs never officially came up in it last night, I promise)
A few plans...an upcoming game night soon with my nieces and sisters to play Clue. (I wonder if we can talk Amberly into making homemade cinnamon rolls?)
A picture to share...my whole family together, even the dog (her appearance was unplanned but sweet nonetheless)
* * *
the simple woman's daybook
...where every day is a blank page
Past Daybooks
Why memorize Psalm 71?
Why would anyone want to memorize Psalm 71?
It’s not one of the better-known Psalms. It’s a tad enemy-heavy. A lot of trouble is mentioned. It’s hard to know exactly what it means. It even contains a word I don’t know (portent* in Psalm 71:7).
And it mentions gray hair.
But maybe that’s it. Maybe it’s worth memorizing because it’s so real. It’s authentic and vulnerable and expansive. It leaves room for me to squeeze in and make it my own.
It begs
We don’t like to beg. It seems so, well, needy. But David acknowledges here he needs God’s help. I need his help, too. I know that. Might as well say it.
It acknowledges trouble
Men are chasing David, his strength is spent, accusers are watching him. While I don’t have his kind of enemies—“wicked, unjust, and cruel men” surrounding me—I do have my own set: a materialistic culture, my bad attitudes, selfish motives, an aging body, on and on, trying to steal God’s joy from my soul. I want to counter my enemies like David does his.
It praises God
It puts into words things I need to say to God, too. Praise for his righteous acts. His deeds of salvation. His faithfulness. And as I memorize these, I can personalize them in my mind, praising him for specifics acts I’ve seen him do in my own life.
It hopes
Continuously. The Lord knows I need constant boosts to keep hoping. I hear that in words here. And I want to say these to myself over and over.
It’s beautiful
And it calls for the creation of more beauty. With instruments. With singing lips. With shouts of joy. I look forward to getting a little creative myself, finding ways to outwardly express my love to and about the Lord through this psalm.
There’s more. But that’s enough to get me started.
This psalm shows me a real person in a crazy world who is finding peace in the presence of God. It not only applies to the writer who lived several thousand years ago, but also to me in 2013.
Why would I want to memorize this Psalm?
Maybe the better question is: why wouldn’t I?
Gray hairs and all.
* * *
Almost two hundred men and women will begin memorizing Psalm 71 on Sunday, January 13. Join us if you’d like! We’ll go slow but steady.
* In case you’re wondering, too, “portent” in Hebrew means: a token or omen; a wonder, a sign. It’s something extraordinary, pointing to a truth beyond itself.
Free resources for memorizing Psalm 71
If you’d like to try memorizing a chapter of the Bible in an easy way (well, as easy as is possible, but it’s not as hard as you think), sign up at Do Not Depart. This Sunday is our official start date.
Schedule
Week 1, Jan 13-Jan 19, Psalm 71:1-2
Week 2, Jan 20-Jan 26, Psalm 71:3
Week 3, Jan 27-Feb 2, Psalm 71:4-5
Week 4, Feb 3-Feb 9, Psalm 71:6
Week 5, Feb 10-Feb 16, Psalm 71:7-8
Week 6, Feb 17-Feb 23, Psalm 71:9
Week 7, Feb 24-Mar 2, Psalm 71:10-11
Week 8, Mar 3-Mar 9, Psalm 71:12-13
Week 9, Mar 10-Mar 16, Psalm 71:14-15
Week 10, Mar 17-Mar 23, Psalm 71:16-17
Week 11, Mar 24-Mar 30, Psalm 71:18
Week 12, Mar 31-Apr 6, Psalm 71:19-20
Week 13, Apr 7-Apr 13, Psalm 71:21-22
Week 14, Apr 14-Apr 20, Psalm 71:23-24
To print
Audio from Bible Gateway, read by Max McLean
Groups (optional)
- Facebook Hide His Word
- Scripture Typer group
- Twitter #HideHisWord
- Link up your blog posts (opens Wed, Jan 9)
If you haven’t already, please register here to receive the FAQ sheet.
My lips will shout for joy, when I sing praises to you; my soul also, which you have redeemed.
Psalm 71:23
* * *
If you need more info, please leave a question below.
Where is God’s house?
I worry about what happens when we build a house for God.
...Do we build God a house so that we can choose when to go see God? Do we build God a house in lieu of having God stay at ours?
What happens to the rest of the world when we build four walls—even four gorgeous walls—cap them with a steepled roof, and designate that the House of God?
What happens to the people who never show up in our houses of God?
- BARBARA BROWN TAYLOR, An Altar in the World
Here is the church
Here is the steeple
Open the door
And see all the people
But what about when there are no doors?
No steeple?
Where are the people?
Where can God live?
It’s Saturday morning. It’s cold.
But it’s the first Saturday of the month and that means Outdoor Church behind Manna House. A gathering for those who believe (and maybe don’t but want to) who don’t feel comfortable and/or welcome inside the “houses of worship” sprinkled throughout the city.
I can’t say I know how they feel. I’ve generally felt welcome wherever I’ve visited.
But then again, I can play the part. Clean clothes. Showered body. Arrival in a heated SUV.
These folks mainly come by foot. Maybe with alcohol on their breath. Many with cigarettes in their pockets.
(Shouldn’t they give those up?
Their lives would be better if they did,
but aren’t there things I need to give up, too?
God can’t wait on us to get it all together.
He kicks down the door, Come! Just as you are.)
And today, once again (almost always?), I question my part.
I stand in the bedroom, after putting on three layers of shirts and a couple pairs of socks, and ask Jeff, “Tell me again why I’m going?”
I’ve caught him at a weak moment, too. The pull to spend the day on our personal projects at home is strong this morning for both of us.
But he conquers his and answers, “Because there’s somebody there you can love on.”
I buy it. I get in the car. We drive into town.
My 2013 One Word is Jesus. My January focus is “The practice of waking up to God.” So I want to wake up to Jesus in Outdoor Church this morning. I want to be Jesus in Outdoor Church to those who need to see him.
But when we get there, we’re alone.
No volunteers’ cars in the parking lot preparing a hot meal for the hungry after the service. No chairs set up outside for the guests. No guitars set up for the worship band.
No people.
This is why I came? For nothing?
Where is this person I was supposed to love on?
But does God let anything happen for nothing? I know “no.” Maybe he knew I needed a push out the door so I wouldn’t mourn all day that Jenna went back to Auburn that morning. Maybe he knew I needed to prepare my heart to serve even if there would be no one there to serve.
Maybe, just maybe, he wanted me to pleased with his presence alone, to “have church” with him, to know he is enough.
To realize he is the one I’m to love on.
So Jeff and I drive on. Drop a few books off at the library. Meander the back roads home. Take off all the extra layers.
And feel satisfied.
The Outdoor Church will gather again another day. But this waking up to God, discovering yourself in his house—it can happen anytime, anywhere. Without doors, without steeples. And sometimes even without people.
Where is God’s house?
It’s here.
It’s now.
And it’s full.
* * *
Where have you seen God lately?
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