Don’t be who you were

Think back to yesterday.
Are you different today than you were then?

Odds are, even if you are, you might not see it.

But look at yourself a year ago. Now do you see a difference? Maybe it’s still not as perceptible as you’d like, yet you are different. You have changed.

I like change when I can control it.
I’m scared of change that happens without my permission.

Last Sunday, I woke up, took a shower, ate Jeff’s pancakes, went to worship services.
A year ago Sunday, I woke up, took a shower, ate Jeff’s pancakes, went to worship services.

But in that year, so much changed.
And God changed me.

Far more than I had planned, I ventured. And I had planned. A year ago I decided to make 2012 “The Year of Venture” but I didn’t really know. I couldn’t have anticipated the places he’d take me, the things he’d show me, the pain he’d allow me, the joy he’d fill in me.

• The calls to be vulnerable
• The inadvertent stepping into others’ adventures
• The laying down of one church family
• The leaving of familiarity
• The picking up of another

I couldn’t have imagined all the inside work from outside change.

• Taking my seat at a bigger table
• Emptying familiar roles
• Believing more for manna, one roll at a time
• Daring to hope in resurrections

And venturing from loving and losing and rethinking.

• Renewing value on women past and present
• Taking the fall more into love
• Making very different friends
• Loosening a grip on my understanding for a tighter grip on his hand

I’ll still scared of change. Of taking risks.

Because I know when I take a risk on God—with God—I’ll never get back to exactly where I was, to who I was.

Yet I’d trade nothing for all the change he’s led me through this year. He’s rewarded me with the peace of his presence. The confidence of his care. The benefits of his blessings.

What’s next? I have no idea. I get that now.

But it’s mattering less and less. Because what’s mattering more and more is knowing he changes me every time I venture out. Every time we venture out.

And isn’t that the goal? Being transformed more into his image? Reflecting more of his glory? Little by little, more and more. One day at a time, one year at a time, one venture at a time.

You can’t be more like him if you’re too comfortable being just like you.

Don’t be the same you that you were last year. Yesterday. A minute ago. Venture. With him. You’re safe there.

* * *

What is he calling you to risk? What chances do you need to take? What change is scaring you?

I thank God for all you who stood beside me on my rocky journey this year. 

2012: My Year to Venture . . .