“I’ve been wanting to visit your mom, but I’m not sure she’d remember me. Should I stop by?”
Yes.
She probably won’t remember you. Nowadays she may not even pretend that she does. But the deeper we get into this Alzheimer’s thing, the more I realize that that’s irrelevant.
While bringing someone pleasure is often based on shared memories, it doesn’t have to be. Nor does it have to offer hope for a future relationship.
It just is. Let it be.
Here. Now.
If you can bring someone joy in the moment, make them smile with your presence, show them love and kindness—regardless of how you may feel about their condition—then, yes, make the visit.
She won’t remember it later.
That’s okay.
Accept that up front.
But you will probably remember it.
And God certainly will.
It will bring Him joy, too. And make Him smile, too. And He’ll see your love and kindness, too.
Is that enough for you?
I hope your answer is
yes.
* * *
Read more:
Does today count?
8 comments:
Terrific. I'll remember this! ~ We had to get mom a wheelchair yesterday. :( She's fallen several times lately. Just not stable enough anymore. She's not thrilled and Dad isn't taking it well. My sister leaves today. So many emotions. ~ You are an encouragement to me!
Of course it matters to visit. Just because someone doesn't remember, it doesn't mean they don't have need. Your mother is a human being who was made in the image of God. I'm in healthcare and the stories I could tell of people we don't think can/are listening would shock you. Never treat anyone with anything except dignity.
Stephani,
We had to get a wheelchair for my mom, too. It's a sad physical reminder of decline. My prayers are with you and your family.
Anonymous,
Thank you for your confirmation. And for your ministry to the weak. I was telling the health care workers just yesterday at my mom's place that they are ANGELS. I've never been so amazed to see the consistent love and care they show my mom day in and day out. And they never even knew her as the sweet and gracious woman she once was.
What a beautiful post! Oh yes...it MATTERS!!! How precious that you shared these thoughts here...may they be an encouragement and blessing to many! I appreciate that you said bringing joy in the moment counts just as much as making memories...beautiful! :)
Blessings,
Camille
Lovely thought! Appreciating the moment we're in... Being a blessing when it won't be reciprocated or "count" for future favors. Lovely.
So glad I found your blog and saw this article especially. You are completely correct. Visiting makes a difference, according to a recent study. Your loved one may not recall the details of your visit, but the emotions evoked linger on.
Emotions Outlast the Memories that Drive Them
Thanks, Marilyn, for resending this link. It's a great article and I highly recommend others read it as well.
I'm seeing more of your family's godly legacy from your Mom...to you...to your daughter. How wonderful!
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