Lisa Notes: More than a label

More than a label

I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works; my soul knows it very well.
Psalm 139:14

Most of our labels for people tend to be global:
genius, midget, homosexual, giant.
~ ELLEN LANGER, Mindfulness

So I labeled the scruffy man with longer hair in the corner of the room in the wheelchair as “the man in the wheelchair.” I automatically had a stereotype to squeeze him into.

That’s how prejudices work. I have friends I introduce as “the sweet one” or “the sports fanatic” or “the health nut.”

But who wants to be a label, even if it’s a good one?

To be a “paraplegic” or a “diabetic,” or to be “too fat” or “too thin,” suggests that there is one ideal way to be a human being.

But Jesus saw with different eyes.
Ever notice when Jesus healed people, he didn’t use a one-size-fits-all approach?

He touched the hand of Peter’s mother-in-law (Mark 1:30-31).
He touched the eyes of two blind men in Capernaum (Matthew 9:29-30).
He put his fingers in the deaf man’s ear in Decapolis and after spitting, touched his tongue (Mark 7:33).
He spit on the eyes of the blind man at Bethsaida (Mark 8:23).
He made mud for the blind man’s eyes in Jerusalem (John 9:6-7).
And he laid hands on many others.

I’m sure he would have seen the man in the wheelchair as much more than “the man in the wheelchair.”

I finally did, too. Once the gentleman started talking and interacting with others around us, I saw him as witty, as independent, as compassionate. There is no stereotype for people in wheelchairs any more than there is a stereotype for people out of them.

Typically when we try to overcome prejudice we try to look for similarities to help us shed the stereotype.

But what if we do the opposite?
What if we look for distinctions instead?

We all are handicapped, but we are not our handicaps.

I want to notice the differences that make you uniquely you.
You’re not a label. Neither am I.

We are more. Much more.

* * *

Thoughts sparked from chapter 9—Decreasing Prejudice by Increasing Discrimination—in Ellen Langer’s Mindfulness. Join the conversation at The High Calling.

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Renee · 704 weeks ago

Yes we are so much more...this week my sister and her new husband came by and i had not met him...I had seen a picture and knew where he was from and what he did...I also pigeon-holed him and I was soooooo wrong. I was so glad I got to meet him and learn to enjoy him! A good lesson for me too :)

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Lisa notes 103p · 704 weeks ago

What a wonderful story, Renee. A pleasant and welcome surprise, I'm sure.

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Nikki (Sarah) · 704 weeks ago

This post is awesome. I remember being labeled....and those labels kept me stuck. When He touched me...He cut through the labels and blew them wide open. He doesn't see labels...He sees human beings and I am so glad He does. Thanks Lisa. have a great weekend out there

1 reply · active 704 weeks ago

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Lisa notes 103p · 704 weeks ago

Oh, to have the eyes of Jesus to see each other as he sees us. Perhaps one benefit of our on-line friendships is we don't have any physical barriers to get in the way. I pray the rest of your weekend is great too.
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Cathy · 704 weeks ago

Lord, help us to be compassionate like you. Blessings ~

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Lisa notes 103p · 704 weeks ago

Someone had a good post this week at Spiritual Sundays on compassion--it involves more than feeling sympathy--it is active. That was a good reminder for me.
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Brenda Maddox · 704 weeks ago

Lisa this is so true. Even innocently we refer to people different ways. I have noticed that I refer to their nationality or color not in a negative way but just to describe or make a comment. It puts lablels that aren't necessary and could be taken wrong. Thanks for the reminder

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Lisa notes 103p · 704 weeks ago

It's just so convenient to use labels--the short girl or that tall guy, etc. But yes, even when we do it innocently, we're still boxing people in, probably more than we realize. I want to do better about it.
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Craig · 704 weeks ago

I hate how much Satan has broken this world – how much sin has messed it up. There should be no wheelchairs. There should be no handicaps. There should be no judging. There should be no hypocrisy. But there is - Now to rise above those labels – to see the person and not a handicap – to see the strength and not the weakness – that seeing with eyes of love – that is seeing with eyes of God. So thank you for this reminder today my friend. Thank you. I need to be like Jesus. God bless you, Lisa – and God bless each and every one of yours.
My recent post Love finds its place … in unexpected places (pt4)

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Lisa notes 103p · 704 weeks ago

Thanks for always giving blessings, Craig. I don't take it lightly because I know you don't mean it lightly. I pray God's blessings on you as well.

So many hard things in this world--many because of our own sin, but many because sin in general has made this world a broken place. But yes, I am so thankful that God wants us to see through his eyes of love, and that he empowers us to do it. I want/need to be more like Jesus too.
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Joan · 704 weeks ago

Great post, Lisa. Our current sermon series at church is on the book of James and our pastor preached from chapter 2 today where James speaks of giving special seats to the wealthier, while having the poor men sit at one's feet. He pointed out the fact that many of us have predjudices - social, racial, political (that touched a nerve with a lot of people). I think sometimes our biases are unintentional and even unnoticed. However, this is certainly something we should guard against.

Blessings,
Joan
My recent post Weekend Reflections ~ Singing His Praises

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Lisa notes 103p · 704 weeks ago

How timely. Glad you stopped in and shared this, Joan. There are SO many divisions that can tear us apart from each other--I wasn't even thinking about the political one, but yes, that is a huge prejudice as well. May the Lord grant us unity; it will have to be a gift from him and a receptivity on our part to receive.
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barbarah 65p · 704 weeks ago

"We all are handicapped, but we are not our handicaps." Love that. It's all to easy to try to classify people instead of looking for the distinctions.
My recent post I may not feel Him standing near

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Janet · 704 weeks ago

When I was in college, one of my professors once said that stereotypes can serve a purpose. I've never been sure exactly what he meant... but I think we do have to label simply as a starting point for perceiving reality. The trouble is when our labels are rigid -- they box us into seeing others in only that initial way, the same way they box others in.

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Lisa notes 103p · 704 weeks ago

I think I see what you're saying, Janet...When I see a snake, I immediately stereotype as "danger". :-) That probably does come in handy. Later (perhaps within seconds) I can determine if it's really a threat or not.

I'm not sure we have much control over our original starting points with stereotypes. They become what they are because of how they've been fed through the years, consciously or otherwise, through so many influences.

But yes, when they become rigid, we're selling people short. And when we don't make efforts to alter them with truth, we hurt ourselves as well.

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lauraboggess 49p · 704 weeks ago

This is the heart of this chapter, I think. I struggled with this one a little bit, must admit. When I broke it down, it felt like there wasn't a lot there to work with. But...this is the part that matters. It reminded me of the scripture on spiritual gifts. We all have one. One more chapter, Lisa! It's been fun having you along for this one.
My recent post It's All Grace: Poem

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Lisa notes 103p · 704 weeks ago

If I had to write a book about mindfulness, I'm not sure I would have thought of all the divisions she's come up with (no irony intended), but yet I've found nuggets of truth in each chapter. The book has gone fast. I've enjoyed reading it mindfully with you. :-)
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e-Mom · 704 weeks ago

"But what if we do the opposite?
What if we look for distinctions instead?"

I like that... look for the "distinctions."

A good word!

My recent post Bible Study: The Truth About Ghosts & Hauntings

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Rebecca · 704 weeks ago

The more you get to know someone, the less a "one size fits all" label will stick. Jesus got to know people on an intimate level so he saw the people for who they truly were.

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bekahcubed · 704 weeks ago

I like the idea of looking for distinctions--not just looking at the ways in which we are the same, but looking for and rejoicing in the differences that God has created us to have.

A couple of my Sunday School students started some inter-gender name-calling this Sunday ("Girls are weenies." "Boys are mean." etc.) The rivalry between the girls and boys was clear--but wasn't being expressed in a God-honoring way. I stopped them with the generic "That's not an appropriate way to speak about one another. Let's speak kindly"--but I'm wondering what might have happened if I had played off their theme and asked them to think about some of the special ways God made girls and boys different (instead of making unkind statements about the opposite sex). I'll have to keep that in mind for future situations. Hmm...

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Lisa notes 103p · 704 weeks ago

Let me know if you try that, Bekah! I wonder what would happen too...
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cindeesniderre 25p · 704 weeks ago

Oh, Lisa, thank you! I want to spend time simply absorbing these words: "I want to notice the differences that make you uniquely you." It's what I do with my kids, my husband. Why have I never thought to do it with others too? Maybe because noticing takes time, but could there be a better way to invest my time than connecting more deeply, more personally with others? Hmmm...you've got me thinking. :)
My recent post To See Differently

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Lisa notes 103p · 704 weeks ago

Cindee,
You've hit the nail on the head..."maybe because noticing takes time."
Sigh. It's easier to rush through with a "Hi, How are you?" and move
right along, than to take the time to really invest in another person,
slowing down enough to really see them. Hear them. Love them.

I think Jesus would agree with you that connecting with others is
definitely a great way to invest our time! Thanks for sharing your
thoughts. They help me with mine.

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char72 44p · 703 weeks ago

Good observation. I was very thin when I was younger. I hated the word skinny because that was what I was called many many times. Of course no one has called me that in many years. It is definitely best not to "pigeon hole" people. I like your analysis of it. Thank you for sharing.
Blessings,
Charlotte
My recent post Fearing Life's Final Moments