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Every life—and death—teaches

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I thought I’d see him again.
On this side of heaven.

I was wrong.

charleyInstead, I saw only pictures of Charley yesterday at his memorial service.

He was only 26. But age is irrelevant in car wrecks. Charley (that’s his real name, not “Bobby”) died Saturday in one.

Who knew he’d be gone so soon?

Less than a year ago, Charley was getting ready to move out of The Way and into his own apartment. He was excited about his home, his job, his independence. And for the most part, he did well with it all. He had a setback or two (who doesn’t?), but he kept working hard to stay clean. To repay debts. To make a difference.

Now his setbacks are over. His temptations are gone.

And his work has ended. Well, maybe.

Tom, the director of The Way, said Charley had dreams of returning one day to teach there. He won’t make it back in person. But he will teach there. And many other places.

He already is.

His old roommate told us yesterday that he’s been learning much from Charley even in the past two days since he’s been gone. 

Because when a friend dies, the friendship doesn’t. The lessons continue on. The message of their life still speaks.

Charley’s life still speaks to mine. Even though I feel I haven’t earned the right to grieve him like his friends who knew him so well.

But I grieve the piece of him that I did know. The piece that tugged on my heart every Wednesday night for months as we sat across from each other in metal folding chairs in a small classroom and talked about Jesus.

I so wanted Charley to do well. To be well. And now he is.

He taught me when he was here.
Keep teaching me now that you’re gone.
I have so much yet to learn...

* * *

Sorry, Floyd, that I didn’t give Charley your message. But maybe he got it anyway.

To all who left comments and lifted up prayers for Charley from my blog post in February, may you feel comforted knowing they were heard, not just by me, but by Him.

Comments (22)

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My first thought upon hearing that a believer has died is, "I'm so sorry." Then I remember where he is and Whom he is with, and correct myself - I can't be sorry about that! Yet I am sorry for the loss that friends and loved ones experience. Especially when one is so young, and like Charley, just beginning their new lives, we grieve for the lost years and lost potential, for what could have been. But God knows each of our days. What a poignant reminder that we need to live for Him today, because we have no promise of being here tomorrow. I'm so glad for the way God had been at work in his life.
My recent post Here I Raise My Ebenezer
1 reply · active 687 weeks ago
I'm glad, too, Barbara, for his sake, and for knowing he's now spared from any more miseries that we have in this world. I was really touched yesterday hearing his friends talk about him; he was loved.
My recent post How to build an altar of grace, or Don’t waste your rocks
"He won't make it back in person...BUT HE WILL TEACH THERE"... Chilling and moving words Lisa. God will use the man and his life, regardless of weaknesses to teach us... Wow, that's huge.

Thank you for your life of compassion, service, and the heart to share the real life stories of how God makes a difference in all of our lives. I'm honored to share the journey with you and yours.
1 reply · active 687 weeks ago
Thanks, Floyd, for being part of that journey.

Yes, it is huge that God can and does use any of us, no matter how little we think we have to contribute. When God touches a life, it's immediately useful. I don't always understand how he does that, but I know he does and I am grateful for his power to do it.
My recent post How to build an altar of grace, or Don’t waste your rocks
I'm so sorry, Lisa! This has to be so hard even though you felt you were not that close to him. Working with Charley and then learning of his tragic death at such a young age is so hard to accept. I will pray for you and others who loved Charley. I will also pray that his legacy lives on as you've so lovingly mentioned here.
1 reply · active 687 weeks ago
Thanks for your prayers, Beth. Ever since I heard about his death on Saturday, I've felt so sad about it. I can only imagine how his close friends and family must feel. Death is never easy, but sudden unexpected death brings its own special challenges.
My recent post How to build an altar of grace, or Don’t waste your rocks
i am sorry for your loss...and even when live touch peripherally it is ok to grieve sucha loss...just seeing someone every week and then not...and i am smiling in that he is still teaching even when he is gone...tht is way too young for any one...
My recent post AllWeAre is AllWeKnow
1 reply · active 687 weeks ago
I appreciate this, Brian. Yes, even when we don't know someone very well, their lives still touched ours, and when they're gone, we grieve. And yes, 26 is way too young...
My recent post How to build an altar of grace, or Don’t waste your rocks
Your words have filled my eyes. My, how happy I am to have found you, these words, this.
1 reply · active 687 weeks ago
I'm glad Charley's life has now touched yours too. I love how God spreads his message in all kinds of ways. Praying for your journey with sixtyfeet.org.
My recent post Quit going to church
This worlds loss is his gain...and yes...He has found a freedom He did not know here. Thanks for sharing this story...blessings to you~
1 reply · active 686 weeks ago
That freedom Charley knows...it's hard to imagine the depth of it...
My recent post “Searching for God Knows What”
Lisa, I am so sorry for the loss of your friend. So glad you got to know him for a little while. Angels are rejoicing that another has come home. I'm a tiny bit jealous, but I know I have to wait my turn. Maybe we'll get to know each other better in that time.
My recent post My Soundtrack
1 reply · active 686 weeks ago
Yeah, I get a tiny bit jealous too when I think that I'm still stuck here instead of seeing Jesus face to face. Not that I don't love my life, but the next life will be beyond anything we can imagine.
My recent post “Searching for God Knows What”
It is always sad when a young person leaves but i believe that he had done all that he needed to do here and God called him home because he something else for him to do. Rest sweetly Charley.
My recent post meat-a-saurus
1 reply · active 686 weeks ago
Thanks, Beverley. I like to imagine Charley enjoying sweet rest right now too.
My recent post “Searching for God Knows What”
In this season of graduations all around us, your post made me think that Charley's recent graduation is the best of all. It's easy for me to say that because I didn't know him yet I feel for and will pray for his family. I know how car wrecks leave scars, especially when they take a loved one. Your thoughts were precious and very meaningful, Lisa.
My recent post Heaven on Earth (in Arkansas)
1 reply · active 686 weeks ago
I hadn't thought about his death in terms of graduations, but it's a great analogy, Lori. Ending one thing, starting another. A better thing--the full measure of our hope. Thanks for your prayers for his family. His body was taken back to Minnesota so they could have his funeral today with his family.
My recent post “Searching for God Knows What”
You're welcome. I do believe each life tells a story, and our stories are so much more interconnected than we even realize...
My recent post “Searching for God Knows What”
I'm sorry Lisa...It is a reminder to me that even after we are gone...our lives and how we lived...will continue to speak out in many ways to many people whom we touched...Thanks for the reminder... {{hugs!!}} xo
My recent post Of Vintage Treasures....and Test Products
1 reply · active 686 weeks ago
You're right, Julie. I think about SO many people that I have loved that are now gone from this world, but they continue to speak to me in many ways. Hope you're having a great week, sweet friend.
My recent post “Searching for God Knows What”

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