We’re riding home from Gulf Shores, Alabama. My teen daughter and niece have already fallen asleep in the back seat of the car. At 11 a.m. In bright sunlight. In uncomfortable positions. With the radio on.
Me? I couldn’t even stay asleep last night. At 2 a.m. In a dark room. In a comfortable bed. With the soothing ocean outside.
Does that mean I’m old?
And does how I define ‘old’ determine how I’ll continue to age?
In chapter 6 of Mindfulness, author Ellen Langer suggests that,
The regular and “irreversible” cycles of aging that we witness in the later stages of human life may be a product of certain assumptions about how one is supposed to grow old.
If we didn’t feel compelled to carry out these limited mindsets, we might have a greater chance of replacing years of decline with years of growth and purpose.
So do we jinx ourselves into feeling older than our years because of our preconceived notions? And if so, what can we do about it?
Langer implies one way to age better is to retain responsibility and control over things we can.
Watching someone else do things that we used to do ourselves leads us to feel that we are now incapable of doing them.
This is true even when the only reason for our inaction is outside ourselves (institutional policy, for example).
Other things to do include:
- reversing memory loss by increasing motivation to remember
- fighting against stereotypical “doddering old fool” and “poor little old lady” imagery by valuing traits such as wisdom and maturity
- stop confusing old age and poor health
I don’t know that any of those will help me sleep more like a teenager, but maybe they can help me appreciate that I don’t have to.
Growing older doesn’t have to mean growing worse. I know plenty of older people who remain active, purposed, and healthy.
And I still have decades to go before I catch up with them.
I’m glad I am the age I am. Just old enough.
Thanking God for these gifts of grace, # 409-418
~ weekend trip to the beach...laughing with teenagers
~ sweet memories...good health
~ being older...but not being the oldest
~ sleeping beside my man...under the sound of the ocean
~ knowing where I'm going at my final age...and Who will meet me there
* * *
Do you feel younger or older than your age?
Join in the conversation at The High Calling on mindful aging.
Dianna · 716 weeks ago
Lisa notes 103p · 716 weeks ago
barbarah 65p · 716 weeks ago
I've thought about some of these things with my m-i-l. It's easy to want to rush in to help, but sometimes that causes her to feel like she can't do anything. Or at least she used to -- now she's getting to where she wants people to do things for her she could do herself because of the effort it takes on her part. Hard to know sometimes when to "do" for her and when to encourage her to do.
I think the concept of retirement at 65 makes a lot of people feel older than they are, too. Some people still have a lot of strength and vigor then, and even when strength ebbs there is much wisdom to glean from.
Good thoughts!
My recent post The Week In Words
Lisa notes 103p · 716 weeks ago
It’s kind of funny that my oldest daughter is already treating me like an old person sometimes. If I start to lift something heavy, she insists on getting it for me or she’ll encourage me to go to bed early when we’re together, etc. I know she’s being polite, and I do appreciate that, but I’m not that old yet! Ha.
Stephani · 716 weeks ago
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Lisa notes 103p · 716 weeks ago
lauraboggess 49p · 716 weeks ago
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Lisa notes 103p · 716 weeks ago
I admire the “Helen”s in my life too. My friend Adelle traveled alone from coast to coast well into her 90s, making friends all along the way. When I grow up I want to be like her.
floyd · 716 weeks ago
What's a few sleepless nights?
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Lisa notes 103p · 716 weeks ago
Cris Ferreira · 716 weeks ago
We also need to stay cheerful and enjoy life, every moment of it.
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Lisa notes 103p · 716 weeks ago
Elizabeth · 716 weeks ago
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Lisa notes 103p · 716 weeks ago
Trisha · 716 weeks ago
Another post just in time. Thank you. I love you, friend!
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Lisa notes 103p · 716 weeks ago
glenna · 716 weeks ago
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Lisa notes 103p · 716 weeks ago
JBR · 716 weeks ago
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L.L. Barkat · 716 weeks ago
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Ashley Haupt · 716 weeks ago
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Lisa notes 103p · 716 weeks ago