The hurts don’t always come when you expect them to.
Neither do the healings.
It was Sunday afternoon. I was with a group of friends in our church van. The mood was light. We were anticipatory of the worship event we were headed towards.
So it wasn’t on my radar. But once we merged onto I-65, it hit me. Strongly.
We’re about to pass the place where my mom died.
The last place on earth where her spirit was present.
And it hurt. Strongly.
I thought I was more healed than I was. After all, I’ve already been back to her assisted living facility, and I made it okay there. But I’m far, far from healed.
Jeff recognized it. He reached out his hand and acknowledged it. I texted my sister. She feels the ache, too, and she responded back in kind.
Beep.
My phone made its noise and I felt the vibration.
It was a text from someone else. From someone one row of seats behind me in the van.
It said simply, “I love you!”
It was from my 15-yr-old daughter. It was to her mother, curled up in the front seat of a van, trying to hide, unnoticed, as tears spilled out anyway.
My daughter and I have our own healing to do. Like all relationships, the mother/daughter one leaves scars. Fifteen years is plenty long to create wounds.
So getting an unexpected text from her observant eye that said, “I love you” was an unexpected gift of healing.
At our worship event—“At the Cross”—lay another unexpected gift of healing. Jeff prayed a prayer over our hurting family. For me, a daughter here, missing her mother gone. For my daughter here, needing a mother present.
Healed?
Not yet.
But with each unexpected gift of grace, the Father is closing the wound.
I can’t predict how He sends the gifts, but I know them when I see them. A hand, a text, a prayer.
And best of all, He’s already prepared more gifts of healing where those come from.
They will be unexpected. But thankfully, He won’t be.
* * *
How have you seen God in your healing?
Related on seeing God:
11 comments:
Thank you for sharing Lisa. Healing often comes in layers I find. Dad died five years ago, and sometimes I still feel the twinge when I drive by his last place. Oh, and the whole mother/daughter thing...as mom of three girls, I understand for sure.
Much love to you today my friend.
It can be a place, a word, a smell or a teste -- and pow, a hurt is felt again, a wound is reopened. It takes so little. And it seems to take so much to soothe it, or close it again.
But then you'll get one of those "I love yous" at that very moment.
Great post.
Elizabeth, I can tell you’ve been there. I love your thought that healing comes in layers…
Glynn,
Yes. I’ve found it to be so true that the smallest little thing can reopen the hurt. But very thankful for those other little things that help on the other side of the wound.
I can only repeat the last comments and say thanks for sharing. I needed to be reminded that God is THE healer--and that however He chooses to do His healing, it will occur in His sovereign plan.
What a beautiful post on healing, Lisa. It was such an intimate family moment that you dared to relive as you shared it with us. Thank you for your desire to share how He is the Healer of our deep deep hurts.
Gentle hugs to you, my friend.
Dianna
It will take a long time, just as physical healing often does. That was so sweet of your daughter to text you at that moment. I am thankful God is with us to bear the unexpected and to give gifts of help and healing as needed.
Thank you so much for stopping by today, prompting me to come over here and read these beautiful words. So much here. I remember being surprised, years after my father's death, of being completely blind-sided by a wave of memory and grief. I, too, know the damage that can be done between mother and daughter, because we are all broken sinners. Praise God for His healing, restoring grace. And seeing that grace in a text message? I just love that! Blessings to you, Lisa.
Nancy,
I keep hearing from many what you have said: that you can’t predict when memories will pop up. While right now it makes life a little difficult when I’m blindsided like that, but I suppose down the road I will see it also as a good thing because I DO want to remember times with my parents. Yes, praising God for his healing, restoring grace!
Thanks for sharing this emotional story with us. Those "I love you" moments sure help in the healing process.
So often we don't think of the ripples and layers that are used in the healing process. So necessary for us to keep moving forward and trusting the Lord to bring us through to the place of thorough/total healing in our physical/emotional/spiritual areas.
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