Hope brings joy

Weeping may tarry for the night,
but joy comes with the morning.
Psalm 30:5flowers

I wake up today in pain.

As usual, my back hurts. My hips hurt. My leg hurts.

And my heart hurts.

I was told that I’d probably feel a bit of relief when my mom died. My load would feel lighter, and knowing she would be pain-free would lessen my pain.

Well, in a sense, yes. Of course! 

But, in another sense, no. It’s still too soon. Too fresh. My emotions are raw. I am missing the essence of her here. I am missing that I can’t take care of her anymore. 

Although I am glad she no longer needs my care. Very glad. For her sake, I wish she could have gone to heaven before she ever became so helpless.

But for my sake, selfishly, I wish she was still here.

Instead, I’ll exchange my wishes for hope.
Hope for eternal reunions. Hope for a Savior’s comfort. Hope for days with no tears.

And hope for waking up to a day with no pain. Oh, the joy!

Lord,
Thank you for giving me the gift of joy, through the gift of hope, through the gift of righteousness. For you alone I wait, for my hope is in you (Psalm 62:5).

The hope of the righteous brings joy.
Proverbs 10:28flowers1

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16 comments:

Debbie said...

Lisa, I'm so sorry for the loss of your mom. Yes, she is out of pain and her mind is now whole. But of course, you will miss being able to hold her and see her with your eyes. Hope is so important and a blessing when our loved ones who die are Christians.

I continue to miss my mom even though it's been five years since she died. But I look forward to seeing her again one day.

Praying for you and the Lord's comfort for you Lisa.

Sending you a blog hug,
Debbie

Lisa notes... said...

Thank you, Debbie. It helps to know that others have walked this journey and made it through. I am very grateful that we both will see our moms again some day. We are blessed in having that hope. Just got to live through the pain to get there.
Blessings,
Lisa

Stephani said...

Still praying for you and glad to know about the physical pain you are experiencing so I can pray about that too! Do you know what is causing your physical pain?

Whidbey Woman said...

This 'thought for the week' is in our church's daily handout today:
"Grief is perhaps the most difficult of human emotions to face, though it also has the potential for being the most therapeutic. Grief isn't a bad thing; it's the cost of having loved. If we hadn't loved, if we hadn't cared, we wouldn't grieve. And our lives would have been even emptier." from the Newsletter Newsletter, Sept. 2008. May the peace and strength of the Lord be with you!

Lisa notes... said...

Stephani,
Thanks for praying for me. The doctors have never been able to determine the source of the pain (except part of it is osteoarthritis) so it's just something I live with. Thankfully it's nothing unbearable.

Whidbey Woman,
What a fitting thought for my week. Thanks for sharing that with me. I'll send it to my siblings as well.

Renee said...

Lifting you up in prayer, Lisa for your pain and for the death of your mother. My mom died 8 years ago and I still miss her. My pain is ongoing too. Our HOPE is in our Lord. He loves us so much and cares about everything we feel....never leaving us alone. Sending gentle hugs across cyber space to you!

Kaye Swain-SandwichINK said...

Praying for you to be blessed and encouraged through comforting Bible verses, prayers, and God's love surrounding you!

Beautiful pear tree lane said...

Lisa,
I am so sorry for your loss and the pain you are feeling, please know i will be praying for you. May you find comfort in Him and His word. Wonderful encouraging scriptures you have shared. Much love to you today,
Sue

Joan said...

Lisa - I am so sorry for your loss. I don't think we ever stop missing our loved ones, but we do not grieve as those without hope. We can take comfort in knowing that someday we will see them again in Heaven.

Blessings,
Joan

Lisa notes... said...

Thanks, all, for your encouragement and your prayers. God is good to send you each my way today. And you are so good to respond as you have.

Saleslady371 said...

I'm sorry you are in pain, Lisa, and missing your mother. I will pray for you that God will fill up those empty places with Him and restore your body aches. Sending Isa 40:31 as a scripture prayer for you today!

Hugs,
Mary

Rie said...

Lisa, I am so sorry. So, so very sorry.

May He keep you and yours in the palm of His comfort.

Ginger~~Enchanting Cottage said...

Lisa, I'm too sorry for the loss of your mom. I pray that you will start to feel better physically. May the Lord be with you at this time.
God Bless,
Ginger

graywolfie said...

I'm so sorry for your loss...
Praying for you...

Barbara H. said...

This brought tears. There were so many times I would have wished my mom back -- for my sake -- except for realizing that I could never wish her back from the Savior's presence.

Just to warn you, there will be times when grief springs up unexpectedly. My mom collected salt and pepper shakers, and one day in Hallmark shop I saw some I would have loved to have gotten for her, and I suddenly got so teary I had to leave the store and have a good cry in the car. Those moments don't come as often as they did the first year, but they do still come. Thankfully He shares our sorrows.

A verse that someone wrote on a card to me that helped me a lot was Psalm 119:76: Let, I pray thee, thy merciful kindness be for my comfort, according to thy word unto thy servant.

Charlotte said...

I know how you feel. My dear mother left this earth almost exactly 11 years ago. I still miss her but I'm glad she is not suffering in this life but is a much better place waiting for me to join her there.
My prayers, thoughts and blessings are with you now.
Charlotte

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