I think it was the right question.
But about the wrong person.
I asked my buddies Sunday afternoon if it was time to give up. I’d been trying for awhile to get a mutual friend to understand my viewpoint. Was this person even capable of change?
The answer?
Someone changes when they want to.
I immediately went to…well, this person obviously won’t change then because he shows no signs of wanting to. It ain’t happening, and I need to quit sweating over it.
Frustration.
But later Sunday night, I heard the answer again, serendipitously from the same person:
Someone changes when they want to.
It was told in story. About a man who changed. By the man who changed. Because he wanted to. Because he needed to.
So it was possible.
And in the middle of his story, I knew:
The “someone” that needed to change in my earlier situation…was ME.
I am the one that needs to understand, more than fighting to be understood.
I am the one that needs to change my attitude instead of expecting the other person to change his.
I am the one to blossom in contentment—because of the Lord’s sufficiency—even if the other person never changes.
God had been talking to me all day about it.
It took me a few hours to hear.
To want to change.
I’m listening now, God. The one who needs to change is me.
You want it even more than I do. And I want it.
It’s possible, through You.
Help, please?
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind…
Romans 12:2
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11 comments:
This is exactly the place I am at in a relationship. I've wasted so much time hitting my head against the wall of their resistance, when I need to focus on "Lord, Change Me!"
Thanks for posting Lisa!
Thank you for the reminder, and also for company along the same journey -knowing I'm not alone. CHANGE is what is required of me now, and also at times seems the insurmountable task. It is possible... through Him, because of Him, I CAN transform.
blessings,
aimee
Very nice. Not a slam dunk answer for every situation, bt definitely among the most important.
Hmmm... funny how the Spirit moves. I was just praying about a similar situation this morning that I've held on to for a while (but been trying to ignore) because I want to be 'right' and the other person to see they are 'wrong.' And the conclusion I came to in prayer? That *I'm* the one who needs to change my attitude... :) This post definitly spoke to me - thanks.
I believe the good Lord wanted me to find this today. I was having coffee with a troubled family member who was asking about "change". I am going to forward this link to them.
God bless
What wisdom and truth you've shared.. thank you!
I believe many of us needed to hear these words today.
It does take us a while sometimes, doesn't it? But Jesus is patient. He keeps telling us until we hear him.
This reminds me of The Work of Katie Byron (http://www.thework.com/thework.php). Although her work does not spring from a biblical perspective, she has a series of questions that leads a person to examining situations and often discovering that the solution is to work on ourselves first.
Beautiful reminder for me Lisa. Thank you.
Thank you, Lisa, for sharing this wonderful post. It is one of those that I think was written "just for me". The timing couldn't have been more perfect. Thanks for your faithfulness.
oh I can relate -- sometimes it takes me forever and a day to really hear God. And then, when I finally do, I wonder where in the world I was the whole time!
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