It was the tipping point.
I couldn’t hold it together any longer.
I’d already been fighting back tears all morning. Fighting back thoughts. Fighting back worries.
So I retreated. Home. Leave the big party of Thanksgiving to everybody else. Off with the Sunday clothes; on with Saturday sweats. Turn on the electric blanket and crawl back into bed. Get the tears out of the way then start this day over.
But my thoughts, my prayers, return to my 80-yr-old friend and his comment and his life.
His prayer request this morning? For his sweetie, under the weather. He takes care of her in ways she can’t take care of herself, as her memories fade.
My prayer request this morning? For my dad, now sick himself, who wants to continue taking care of his wife, my mom, in ways she can’t take care of herself, as her memories fade.
I talked to the man a few weeks ago about it.
My comment to him: “Sometimes life just doesn’t turn out like we expected it to.”
His comment to me: “That’s right. It’s even better.”
I was convicted then. I’m convicted now.
Other disappointments this week have gathered. Layered upon each other, they’re heavy. Too heavy? No. God doesn’t allow that. He wants me to keep the faith even more than I do.
And I want it more than anything.
The older man is keeping his faith. My dad is keeping his faith. I will keep my faith. This morning they all crossed paths.
And I am thankful.
4 comments:
I can piece together who you're talking about, and I pray for him and his sweetie constantly. And I've heard that affectionate touch is one of the best things to keep the disease from progressing faster (not a cure, but a tremendous help) so I'm certain they will do as well as is possible. I didn't know your parents were going thru the same thing; will pray for them alongside the others.
But it is better. I'm at 22 months now of dealing with my neurosarcoidosis (applying for SSI in the background, never thought I'd have to do that), and all the while I have kept telling myself I'd be "all better" in "just 3 more months" which obviously isn't happening although it's still possible to get to 95% or so, but I'm like stuck at 80 (if that's even the right number to attach to it). I could share details, but I'll just stop and say it's is better if you choose to look at it that way. I've become an even more vocal advocate for the disabled. I've got issues (every step I take hurts, some more than others, it's tolerable) but I am mobile. When I have difficulties, I try to think further for those worse off than me. e.g., I give the guys at Crimson Ride fits; we're gonna have another go-around this week.
Cast your burden upon the Lord and He will sustain you;
He will never allow the righteous to be shaken.
Psalm 55:22
I know you will be faithful Lisa.:) Praying for you in your time of heavy burden.
G - I didn't know you lived with such pain. I've had back pain for about 7 years that I keep thinking will be "better tomorrow" but no relief yet. I try not to think about the number of years ahead with it. I know there's lots of people with MUCH worse so I try not to complain (too much). Thanks for praying for my family; I'll put you back on my list for your pain.
Deanna - thank you for the Psalm. It's very fitting. I appreciate your confidence in me and your prayers.
I thank God with you for His placement of that older gentleman in your life and his gift of encouragement at this particular time. And I thank God for your desire to remain thankful in all circumstances. You are in my prayers.
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