Frankly, there are days when I don’t feel full. I don’t feel quenched.
I still hunger. I still thirst.
I watch the men and women walk through the food line at the Manna House, some with children in tow.
I wonder who is really hungry...
- ...who hasn’t had steak in months (years?)
- ...who goes to bed (if they have one) only dreaming of awakening to sizzling bacon for breakfast
- ...who can’t comprehend three meals plus two snacks...every single day
Some want more than two. Who am I to say no? If not eaten immediately, they pile the food in their Walmart bags for later.
But some just say, “No thanks.” This isn’t what they’re looking for.
What am I looking for?
What will satisfy my hunger?
Is it only the delicacies of life, the sweet things that make me feel happy? The easy days, the trouble-free friendships, the sunny seasons?
I know Jesus is filling. So why don’t I feel full all the time?
I think it’s my appetite.
It’s still not fully trained, not fully disciplined to understand what fully satisfies, what fully nourishes.
Like those in the dessert line, I gaze at my options.
- Am I choosing wisely?
- Am I training my palate to appreciate healthy foods?
- Am I consistently thanking God for sweet blessings he provides as dessert?
We leave the Manna House.
I wash my hands at Five Guys and Fries. I look at the faces in line to order. Nobody here seems starving. Nobody in this line looks like anybody in the other line I just left.
I eat my hot hamburger fixed just the way I like it, with as many French fries on the side as I want. My stomach is full.
Is my soul?
Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life;Lord,
whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and
whoever believes in me shall never thirst.”
Fill me with more of you when I’m still hungry.
Only you can satisfy; only you are enough.
Help me come to you more; help me believe in you more.
I want to not hunger; I want to never thirst.
* * *
How do you fill up on Jesus when you’re hungry?