I don’t want to need forgiveness

Who would you rather be:  
the one doing the forgiving  
   the one needing the forgiveness?

Before we can begin to see the cross as something done for us
(leading us to faith and worship),
we have to see it as something done by us
(leading us to repentance).
~ JOHN STOTT, The Cross of Christ

floor_47I’m scared of heights.
So when the hotel clerk said our room was on the 47th floor, I groaned audibly.

He said, “It’s a great view,” then looked at me and added,
“unless you’re afraid of heights.”

I smiled to assure him (and me) I’d be alright.
As long as no one talked to me while I adjusted.

No, I don’t want to look out the window.
No, I don’t think the clear elevator is cool.
No, I won’t look over the railing down 47 stories to the lobby.looking-down

Why does there always have to be challenges?

This was my weekend with Women of Faith, for crying out loud.
Spiritual uplifting, not physical lifting up.

But as I acclimated to less oxygen, my grouchiness level decreased.

Until the next night.

Because here is something else I’m scared of:
driving from the Marriott to Philips Arena in big-city traffic on a Friday afternoon.

So when we became uncertain about directions after only a minute into our drive, I took it out on my navigator, who also happened to be my 16-year-old daughter.one_way

She doesn’t need a mama with a short fuse.
She needs one who trusts the Lord whether in transit gridlock or at Tower of Babel heights.

I can trust Jesus as the only Way for my eternal destiny,
but not on one-way streets in Atlanta, Georgia?

What kind of woman of faith is that?

It’s this one.
One who desperately needs forgiveness.
All the time.

I’d rather not need it.
I’d rather stop this sinning stuff altogether.

But until I do, I’m grateful for forgiveness.
On the 47th floor.
In rush-hour traffic. 
From God the Father.
And from 16-year-old daughters.

* * *

Have you needed forgiveness lately?

Is this crazy or what? [the hotel view looking up]
Who comes up with such things???
Thanks to Jenna for all the pictures. You know I wasn’t taking them!looking-up


Anonymous said...

I can't believe it: we attended the same conference and even stayed at the same hotel and I never saw you! I looked for you at the conference, but I didn't think to look for you at the hotel. Glad you had a great time. I need to start writing my post!

Barbara H. said...

I can empathize with both the height issue and the traffic in a big city issue, much less being lost in said city. And the taking things out on someone nearby issue (Sigh -- all too well.)

"Why does there always have to be challenges?" Ha -- love that. Seems we no sooner deal with one than another pops up.

Love that quote by Stott, too.

Michelle said...

After hearing the traffic report I wondered about traffic for this conference.
I believe there were two games going on at the same time.

I can empathize with you...I am afraid of heights also.

Brian Miller said...

you may make me scared of heights with those pictures...my goodness what a perspective...darn traffic gets me every time...forgiveness is a good thing...smiles.

Lisa notes... said...

Bummer! I would love to have met you in person in Atlanta! After the fact I saw a BookSneeze tweet come through for people to meet up but I was already back home by then. :-) Next time I’ll try to be proactive about it. We’ll have to catch each other somewhere else. Who knows?

I loved the hotel. You? Except for the heights. And that it was a little too far to walk to Philips Arena (that was my original plan until I got there). Ha. I’ll look forward to reading your post about it.

Lisa notes... said...

Don’t let me mislead you: traffic wasn’t really horrendous. It’s just that I’m a scaredy-cat when it comes to driving in big cities when I’m not familiar with where I’m going. The Falcons did have a game on Friday night, and the Braves were playing too (retiring Bobby Cox jersey—my husband went to that) so there was lots of cars out.

But the good news is that next year they’ll have Women of Faith in Duluth instead of Atlanta so the traveling should be LOTS easier.

happygirl said...

LOVE Women of Faith events. I haven't been to one in a long time. Unlike you, I'm not afraid of a high building, but I get a bit panicky in crowds. Being forgiven is a wonderful thing. It feels wonderful. Thanks for this post.

Lisa notes... said...

One day I hope to not be afraid of heights. :-) I keep trying to push myself to get over it, but it’s not happening yet. Oh well. I’m SO thankful my daughter doesn’t feel the same way. Crowds don’t bother me too much but I admit I was ready to get out of the crowded big city and head back to a little more elbow room in my hometown.

So I’m assuming heaven won’t feel too high or too crowded, but just right. :-)

Kati patrianoceu said...

Wow, that hotel is enough to make anyone feel faint - I can't even imagine facing that with a fear of heights to boot! Yes, I guess that's about the main lesson... we need to give ourselves a break, too :)

Lisa notes... said...

I think my fear of heights got worse once I had kids (so be forewarned, ha) or else the crazy mountain roads we’d travel on in ice and snow when we used to go snow skiing.

But yeah, giving ourselves a break is something we need to do more often. The Lord doesn’t want us going around feeling guilty when he’s already paid the price for our forgiveness. Easy to realize; not always easy to do…

Lisa notes... said...

I was surprised that they said 80% of ladies come with groups of 10 or more. That’s pretty incredible. I just came in a group of 2. :-) But it was still wonderful.

I do happen to know the dates for next year! September 21-22 at Gwinnett Center Arena (although they say that dates and location are subject to change).

Knowing this far in advance, maybe I can get a group from my church too.

I don’t know who the speakers will be, but they announced that the theme is “Celebrate!” Sounds good to me. :-)

Lynn Severance said...

Lisa - Wow on that photo! Interesting that I do not have a fear of heights. I simply have to be careful of the motion and where to look because of my vertigo condition ( which has nothing to do with heights).

If I had been there, we could have held onto each other - the blind leading the blind, so to speak!

Jenna took some amazing photos. Now the photo itself was disorienting to look at, for me.

When my group of gals used to go to Women of Faith, we'd book right then for the following year as the seats you get are determined on when you book. I should clarify that and say, that used to be their system.

But even booking later is fine. Except for being way up high ( if heights are an issue) - any seat is a good seat the way they have the close up screens.

becky said...

Awesome post about always needing forgiveness...I can relate! And that heights thing? I can relate to that too. But trraffic, well that's the scariest...I'm always sorry, sorry, sorry...

Beth said...

You're a brave woman - for going up to the 47th floor in that building and for sharing so authentically with all of us! Great post!

Connie@raise your eyes said...

Wow...the photo perspective made me a bit dizzy...

Pondering that I'd rather be on the forgiving side...but our human fraility places us smack dab on the need forgiveness side.

emily wierenga said...

oh friend. thank you for being so beautifully real. xo


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