Please forgive me. Again.

at_cemetery

  • Do you ever feel unimportant?
  • Like your daily work doesn’t add up to much after all?
  • And now that you think about it, that maybe your whole life has been rather, well, insignificant?

Then maybe you can pray this prayer with me?

My good Father,

I’m doing it again. I’m looking at me and feeling disappointed.

I wanted to do big things for you. Instead I see day after day of only little things.

I’ve not proven to be strong. I’m definitely not brave. My witnessing is minimal. My voice is weak.

They won’t say at my funeral:

“She was hospitable to thousands. She preached in many (or any) foreign lands. She was beautiful and gifted. Yet so humble.”

I’m just me, Lord. And me feels inadequate.

Forgive me.

Forgive my self-indulgence in self-pity. It reeks of pride.
It smells like sin.

Whose list of accomplishments, no matter how grandiose, compares to this?

  • Left the throne of Glory to live in the slums
  • Took on the sin of every man, woman, and child
  • Came back from the dead to seal the deal

In return for?

My belief.

Not my accomplishments or accolades or importance. Or the lack thereof.

Forgive me my pride. Again.

It’s not about me after all.
It’s about you.

At my funeral, may they say,
“She believed him.”

It’s the biggest thing I could ever do.

Thank you for making it easy by making it about you, not about me.
Your grace saves me over and over and over.

I love you, Lord,
Lisa

* * *

Do you ever struggle with feelings of inadequacy?
How do you find peace there?

19 comments:

Hazel said...

Thank you, Lisa. I always love the way you impart things I could not sort out within me.

Brenda said...

Well said. And thank you. I needed it. :-)

Lisa notes... said...

Hazel,
Sometimes I have to write it down before I can sort it out myself.

I feel these feelings off and on, but a new surge hit me lately, so it helped me to get it on paper (or screen, as in this case.) And the need to ask for forgiveness for it...

Brenda,
You're welcome. :-)

Brian Miller said...

amen. i do. having been in ministry and then not, it was a huge struggle and some days still rears its ugly head...so i echo your prayer...

Melissa said...

Amen. Feeling "not good enough" was a learned behavior for me, but--with help--I'm un-learning it. You're right that taking the focus off of ME and putting it on HIM makes a huge difference.

Melissa, Multi-Tasking Mama said...

Forgiving ourselves can sometimes be one of the hardest things..especially when we allow the enemy to trip us up with feelings of inadequacy. Thanks for the reminder.

Barbara H. said...

I do, and have to pray something similar and remind myself that even a cup of cold water given in His name is service unto Him.

Nikole Hahn said...

Beautiful!

Amazingly, I was just thinking that yesterday. How insignificant I am and yet I realize now that I'm not meant to be significant. Jesus is significant.

I am reminded once again why I blog 2 Corinthians. Thanks!

Joybird said...

I've actually been on the other side of this coin this week. I've felt like the last couple of years and maybe longer have just been a huge waste of time and all a big mistake. But so many times in the last few days I have heard in simple conversations and from some pretty unexpected people what He has done through me, little seeds He grows into big fruit.

Melissa @ Breath of Life said...

Okay...3rd Melissa chiming in here (wow!)

Beautiful, and boy can I identify. In fact, my post for tomorrow addresses this very subject (before I even read your post). Thanks for the honesty.

Katie said...

How beautiful! This expresses so much of how I feel about myself sometimes. Thank you!

Bonnie Gray said...

Okay, Lisa. This is it. This is my favorite post of yours!

I hope to have the same thing on my tombstone too. Is that okay? :) (Of course, next week, I'll find another favorite!)

So thankful you're a part of my days. You're a blessing, Lisa!

Stephani said...

I am indeed praying this right along with you Lisa. I'm also going to share this with my parents. Both of them feel insignificant. Even my father who was a dentist and physician, did travel to foreign lands to preach and heal, did speak and educate and touch literally thousand of lives; even he feels insignificant in these older years. He thinks his life hasn't counted for much when his name is stamped all over the globe and in the hearts of many, many people. How is this possible? We all need grace don't we.

Sheryl said...

This is wonderful. My pride too often trips me up. I'm thankful God waits to forgive.

Cathy Canaceli said...

At my funeral, may they say,
“She believed him.*

I love that. I want that to be said of me too. ;)

Thanks for sharing!

emily wierenga said...

you know, i struggle with this daily, dear lisa. i think it's only natural to want to feel important, to want to feel special. it's something we allowed to enter us when we shared in the forbidden fruit. so i guess we just need to work on transferring those feelings to God, to making sure he knows how important and special he is, every day. when one of my friend's sons was asked what he wanted to do when he grew up, he answered "to love Jesus the best that I can." i think, in the end, that's what it's all about...

B. Meandering said...

I can relate to this. I appreciate your honesty. This has been a week of ups and downs and feeling at times like, "What's the use?" I needed the reminder why. Thank you.

Lisa notes... said...

Melissa @ Breath of Life posted a beautiful post today on this same topic. Read it and be blessed:

The Measure of a Life

Donna said...

Lisa, I had to stop and pray the prayer the moment I scrolled down to that point in your post. I needed these words of truth. So thankful for grace - thankful for you.

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