As much as I hate it, my mom has had Alzheimer’s.
She broke free of it on September 8, 2010.
And I miss her terribly, Alzheimer’s and all.
She transitioned in 2010 from her house of 44 years with her spouse of 55 years to an assisted living facility. It wasn’t easy on any of us.
Below are personal pieces of our journey that I don’t want to forget.
I pray they help you if you are traveling this path also, or know someone who is.
1. Tips
- Good things about Alzheimer’s – Really? Yes. Finding the silver lining.
- 5 life lessons they teach you – Lessons to learn from those who have the disease.
- Hospitals and Alzheimer’s – 5 tips for a smoother hospital stay.
- 5 ways to show compassion – You want to help? Start with these.
- Sympathy cards – 5 ways to really sympathize in a sympathy card.
- Your one small thing – Little ways you can help the family.
2. What I want others to know
- Make the visit! – Should you visit someone with Alzheimer’s, if they won’t even know who you are and won’t remember you came?
- Does today count? - Is now enough? If you can’t look back on it, and you can’t look forward to it, is it not important? What you do today counts, no matter the memory or lack thereof.
- She’s still my Supermom - Honoring her for those days by being good to her in these days.
- It’s about relationship – It’s about love.
- The day she died - What I saw.
- Mama’s advice – 10 things Mama wanted me to remember.
- Healed? – Not me, not yet.
3. Facility Life
- Assisted living – Sometimes I hate going there. Is that bad to say?
- So easy to love - Memorable moments with my new, memory-impaired, besties.
- Gatherings - Meeting with friends and family.
- Going back – What we saw when we went back.
- And going back again – Volunteering.
4. God and Alzheimer’s
- Love the least of these – God started it; we keep it going.
- Is this what freedom looks like? – Having Alzheimer’s looks like slavery to me. What is true freedom anyway?
- Enough change already! – I was crushed when Mama no longer recognized me. Looking for stability, I found it in the constant, unchanging One.
- No snatching - She’s slipping away. But I still see her in there from time to time.
- I am hungry – Learning to fast from my “normal” life is a battle.
- A surprise moment of bliss – Sometimes when you least expect it, God pulls out a surprise miracle moment just for you.
- Who do you think I am? – Those with Alzheimer’s may often mistake you for someone else. Who are you really?
- Hard things - Sometimes you have to make hard choices for other people. Make them. Then lay them all down at His feet.
- Be a tree – She’s now prone to wander. I need to be her tree (Psalm 1).
- In Paradise – She’s no longer homesick; just me.
5. Book reviews
The 36-Hour Day – by Nancy Mace & Peter Rabins.
This is the go-to book about all things Alzheimer’s. Read it first.
New Hope for People with Alzheimer’s and Their Caregivers – by Porter Shimer.
Lots of general guidelines that are helpful, but I especially benefited from this section: “10 Commandments of Effective Caregiving.”
Learning to Speak Alzheimer’s – by Joanne Koenig Coste.
Learn how to treat your loved one with dignity. Many specific tips, including the 5 tenets of caregiving.
Plan B – by Pete Wilson.
Does anybody ever include Alzheimer’s in their Plan A for life? This book isn’t about Alzheimer’s. But it’s about how to handle life when your original plans don’t work out.
I’m Still Here – by John Zeisel.
Centers on how to stay relationally connected with the person living with Alzheimer’s. Excellent theories and practical suggestions.
The 36-Hour Day
New Hope for People with Alzheimer’s and Their Caregivers
Learning to Speak Alzheimer’s
Plan B
I’m Still Here6. My prayers
- A love deeper than Alzheimer’s – A prayer for Mama when Daddy died.
- Create open space – I need more margin. More room to breathe.
- A thief in the house? - I’ve made eye contact with the enemy.
- The one thing I need - I want to feel strong. I want this and that. But there’s one thing I need (Psalm 27).
- Praying through death – ...and life, as we wait.
* * *
Feel free to share any tips or advice or stories that you have as well. I care.
28 comments:
I hate Alzheimer's. My mom had it. I would call her (I live in MD, she lived in MO) just to talk. I knew she would NEVER remember that I called. But I just loved to hear her talk, hear her laugh - have her ask me all the same questions or tell me all the same stories again. Especially, now that she's gone (uterine cancer in '02) I'd give anything to have those talks still. The "mom" I grew up with was gone a long time prior to her death, but the "woman" I loved, remained for a long time. Sometimes I look at my hands or my feet & can see her's in mine. Or sometimes I hear her laugh in my own & have had others say "you sound just like your mother". What a blessing!
I wish you strength for this journey.
I look forward to following you. Please stop by & follow me as well. I welcome any comments you care to share!
Blessings ~ Merana
The greatest gift that you can give to your Mother at this time is the gift of loving acceptance. You’ve just got to try to deal with the present situation with as much serenity and perspective as you can manage. We are loved, we are chosen, we have a purpose and God has a plan for each one of us; those who are weary, for renewed strength and hope for the discouraged....blessings.
Hang in There!
Virginia
My heart goes out to you and your Mother. My mom lived with us for 10 years before passing away 2 years ago. She developed dementia in her last 6 mos. With the help of Hospice, I was able to keep her here at home with us until her last breath. What I learned is that every minute of every day is special. Her smile/laugh, no matter how short lived, was a huge blessing. Compassion and patience are key. Bless you both on this journey.
This is a wonderful post, Lisa with so much valuable information for others...plus your honesty is a blessing. Sending you cyber hugs...and thanks for coming by my blog....So great to see you here at SS...God bless...
Lisa - my heart goes out to you. Sending a prayer your way for strength and wisdom.
Blessings,
Joan
Dear, dear Lisa, my heart bleeds for you right now. I want to come back when I have more time (son and family here this weekend from out of state) and really soak up all that you have written. I appreciate you sharing your heart with us so much.
My prayer is that God will strengthen your heart and be your portion forever. Psalm 73
Love,
Dianne
Hi, I popped over to visit from Spiritual Sunday. What a great resource this post is for those caring for elderly parents - particularly when dealing with Alzheimers Disease or other dementia symptoms. I've bookmarked it in Delicious and tweeted it as well. :)
I enjoyed several other of your articles - could SO relate to the Plan B one.
Thank you for the blessing you've been and praying for you to be blessed as well. :)
this is a great list of resources and so needed out there. I've been following someone who documented her journey with her mom...sometimes so funny....other times heartbreaking. Stay strong....
Bless your heart. Thanks for sharing all that information. And thank you for your sweet comment on my music website. Praying for you, your Mom and family ~
Praying for you Lisa!
Alzheimers is so horrible. Both of my parents had severe dementia before they died. I sympathize with anyone going through it. Your sharing links and experiences will help others I am sure. Thank you for linking with Spiritual Sundays.
Blessings,
Charlotte
Hi Lisa,
My dad had Alzheimers a couple
of years before he died. It is
such a horrible disease and I
still remember what all of our
family went through. I just
wanted to tell you that we
relied upon the Lord and He
sustained us. He is our strength
when we feel as though we have
none, and He is our hope when
all seems hopeless.
Trust in his love and care.
Blessings,
Sandy
Thank-you for posting all of these things.These will help so many people who are not sure of so many things.
God Bless,
Ginger
Thank you for being so helpful!
Thank you so much for sharing these thoughts and resources. We have had family members with Alzheimers and it is so hard.
Hi Lisa,
I saw this on your sidebar. First let me say my heart goes out to you. My parents moved 2 years ago to an independent living apartment and it was a huge change. My dad is 85 and has Parkinson's disease and some dementia and my mom is 83 and mostly healthy but clearly she does not make the best choices on all things.
Aging parents is a long and often lonely road to be on. Thank you for this post.
Lisa,
Thank you for your transparency. I'm so very sorry for you and your mom. I know how hard it is. My mom has severe dementia and is in an assisted living home too. She is 85 and quite feeble. It's so hard because she does knows me and calls me all day long crying and begging to come and live with me. She is very well cared for at her home, but that makes no difference to her at all. She needs 24/7 care and living with me is just not possible for several reasons.
Sometimes I think I will have to disconnect her phone but I just couldn't do that to her. My heart breaks and the only way I can cope is to sort of "harden my heart" and be firm with her about why it's not possible to live with me- if that makes any sense at all. It does no good to try to reason with her or even comfort her though because she doesn't remember anything at all. Dementia is different in many ways, but it is still horrible.
My biggest concern is that she claimed to be a strong believer in her "former life before dementia". She used to go to church, read her Bible and pray every day but now she takes no solice in Christ at all. Amazingly, she can still do crossword puzzles! But she can't or won't read the most simple devotional books. It's as though her faith just vanished altogether - poof! So I worry that she perhaps never really knew Him.
My best friend's father was also our pastor years ago - wonderful man of God and a minister for 40 yrs. He passed into glory last month from Alzheimer's. At Easter he was shocked to learn that Christ had risen from the dead. As sad as that is, it brought me some hope for my mom's soul.
Sorry to dump the truck on your blog here. I'm the sole caregiver and feel very alone sometimes. AND GUILTY!
God bless you Lisa for being so candid about your pain. May He give you and your momma strength for the journey.
Diane,
We are kindred spirits. Thank you for what you’ve shared. I’ll respond fuller later today, either here or via e-mail.
But wanted to let you know for now that I do hear you and I care.
Blessings,
Lisa
I tracked you down after your comment on my blog post today. This is one AMAZING post. I can't wait to share it with my mom and aunt. Blessings to you.
I just saw this on your sidebar today, and I don't have time to peruse it fully now. But I will bookmark it and return another time. With a strong history of Alzheimer's in my family, I've very interested to read what you've written. Thanks!
Brandee,
It was a long painful journey with my mom, but an incredible one too, full of blessings and God’s grace. I’m glad I found your blog via Crumbs from His Table. I will pray for your family’s continued journey with your grandmother…
Here is a great herbal doctor who cured me of Hepatitis B. his name is Dr. Imoloa. I suffered Hepatitis B for 11 years, I was very weak with pains all over my body my stomach was swollen and I could hardly eat. And one day my brother came with a herbal medicine from doctor Imoloa and asked me to drink and I drank hence there was no hope, and behold after 2 week of taking the medicine, I started feeling relief, my swollen stomach started shrinking down and the pains was gone. I became normal after the completion of the medication, I went to the hospital and I was tested negative which means I’m cured. He can also cure the following diseases with his herbal medicine...lupus, hay fever, measles, dry cough, diabetics hepatitis A.B.C, mouth ulcer, mouth cancer, bile salt disease, fol ate deficinecy, diarrhoea, liver/kidney inflammatory, eye cancer, skin cancer disease, malaria, chronic kidney disease, high blood pressure, food poisoning, parkinson disease, bowel cancer, bone cancer, brain tumours, asthma, arthritis, epilepsy, cystic fibrosis, lyme disease, muscle aches, cholera, fatigue, muscle aches, shortness of breath, alzhemer's disease, acute myeloid leukaemia, acute pancreatitis, chronic inflammatory joint disease, Addison's disease back acne, breast cancer, allergic bronchitis, Celia disease, bulimia, congenital heart disease, cirrhosis, constipation, fungal nail infection, fabromyalgia, (love spell) and many more. he is a great herbalist man. Contact him on email; drimolaherbalmademedicine@gmail.com. You can also reach him on whatssap- +2347081986098.
My name is hoover, my 18 years old daughter, Tricia was diagnosed of herpes 3 years ago. ever since then,we have been going from one hospital to the other. We tried all sorts of pills but all efforts to get rid of the virus was futile. The blisters kept on reappearing after some months. My daughter was making use of Acyclovir tablets 200mg. 2 tablets every 6hours and fusitin cream 15grams. and H5 POT. Permanganate with water to be applied 2x a day but all still show no result. So I was on the internet some months back, to sought for any other means of saving my only child. just then, i came across a comment on dr imoloa herbal treatment and decided to give it a try. i contacted the him and he prepared some herbs and sent it to me together with guidelines on how to use the herbs through DHL courier service. my daughter used it as directed dr imoloa and in less than 14days, my daughter regained her health.. You should contact Dr imoloa today directly on his email address for any kind of health challenge; lupus disease, mouth ulcer, mouth cancer, body pain, fever, hepatitis A.B.C., syphilis, diarrhea, HIV/AIDS, Huntington's Disease, back acne, Chronic renal failure, addison disease, Chronic Pain, Crohn's Disease, Cystic Fibrosis, Fibromyalgia, Inflammatory Bowel Disease, fungal nail disease, Lyme Disease, Celia disease, Lymphoma, Major Depression, Malignant Melanoma, Mania, Melorheostosis, Meniere's Disease, Mucopolysaccharidosis , Multiple Sclerosis, Muscular Dystrophy, Rheumatoid Arthritis, Alzheimer's Disease, parkison disease, vaginal cancer, epilepsy, Anxiety Disorders, Autoimmune Disease, Back Pain, Back Sprain, Bipolar Disorder, Brain Tumour, Malignant, Bruxism, Bulimia, Cervical Disk Disease, cardiovascular disease, Neoplasms, chronic respiratory disease, mental and behavioural disorder, Cystic Fibrosis, Hypertension, Diabetes, asthma, Inflammatory autoimmune-mediated arthritis. chronic kidney disease, inflammatory joint disease, impotence, feta alcohol spectrum, Dysthymic Disorder, Eczema, tuberculosis, Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, constipation, inflammatory bowel disease. and many more; contact him on email- drimolaherbalmademedicine@gmail.com./ also on whatssap-+2347081986098.
I am 72 years old,and i have been diagnosed with Alzheimer's diseases this neuron disease started 25 years before being revealed it was trigged the moment i started eating sugars including any and almost all carbs that break down to glycerol,and i have been on the best medical treatment approved by united states,(FDA) i have been taking Cholinesterase,Memantine to treat my memory lose,confusion and the problems with my thinking and reasoning.just to help slow the progression and manage the symptoms,as no cure exists.but i was gradually developed Insomnia,chronic headach,weight loss,muscle cramps,diarrhea,vomiting,nausea,dizziness and i was losing it all as i can,t remember who i was and the people around me as my brain cells keep declining.My body systems do not agree any more with allopathy medical recommendations of drugs and surgery is not the best treatment.I made a research on naturopathy is the best way to get cure from Alzheimer and dementia,as nature has the power to heal all kinds of diseases when herbal medicine are been used in a right proportions.during my reach on naturopathy herbal medicine,I came across Dr. James herbal mix medicine West Africa and the wonders he does curing all kinds of diseases with his powerful herbal mix medicine from herbs and roots extracts .without no hesitation I contacted him on his Email address that was provided (DRJAMESHERBALMIX@GMAIL.COM) I told him my problems and all i have been fighting this inccurable diseases with allopathy medical recommendations,and he told me never to be worried that he will help me with a permanent cure as nature has the power to cure all illness.I never doubted him.then he told me to pay some amount which i did. Days later,He prepared his herbal mix medicine and sent it to me through EMS courier service.I used his herbal mix medicine as i was told for 4 weeks.He told me that his herbal mix medicine will help me to reduce the abnormal protein fold inside my neurons,and regulate the nutrients and molecules in my body system,and as well stop the progressive disorder that build up in damaging my brain cells,and help my weak cells that causes brain shrinking to function well,its a good herbal drinks for cell reparing.This doctor James is super great man and his herbal mix medicine is wonderful and works effectively as he said,with no side effects.Brothers and sisters father and mother,there is a permanent cure to Alzheimer's diseases,I'm a living testimony and I Was cured totally from Alzheimer's disease.I recommand anyone with different health challenges to contact Dr.James and permanently get rid of the diseases you been suffering from.do not let that disease kill you when Dr James can help you with a permanent cure.All you needs to do is to contact him on his email and tell him your health challenges and get his strong herbal mix medicne.Reach him on his Email address (drjamesherbalmix@gmail.com) and he said he got permanent cures for the followings diseases.Schizophrenia,Bipolar,DIABETES, HPV,SHINGLES,CANCER, ALS, HEPATITIS B, KIDNEY DISEASE, HERPES, Ovarian Cancer,Pancreatic cancers, Bladder cancer,Skin cancer, Prostate cancer, Glaucoma., Cataracts,Macular degeneration,Cardiovascular disease,Autism,Lung disease.Enlarged prostate,Osteoporosis.Alzheimer's disease,psoriasis ,Tach Diseases,Lupus,Dementia.kidney cancer, lung cancer....I believe my testimoney will be of help to you as well thank you.
It’s obvious some patients with herpes are being enslaved to the antiviral and other supplementary Orthodox medicine just to help suppress the virus and not a cure. I have been with the virus since 2015 until I was introduced by a blogger who also narrated her story online on how she was cured of Genital Herpes after using Dr Asaka Herbal Medicine. This is a year and 2 weeks since I was delivered from genital Herpes. All thanks to God for using this Great herbalist to heal me. I have promised to keep telling good things about Dr Asaka. Please feel free to share Your problems with him and don’t forget to tell him I did refer you to Him. Thanks. Write him on mail drasakanaturalremedies@gmail.com He deals with Alzheimer virus, Cancer, HIV, Herpes, Genital, warts, ALS, BV, UTI, Virginal infection, Genital, Wart, HPV, Hepatitis A/B, Good luck, HSV, Pregnancy, Ex back. here is his website: https://drasakanaturalremediesherbalcure.wordpress.com/
I had to always take mutum (pills) so I did not pee on my pants because I got so weak in my hands and legs as a result of the symptoms of this ALS disease. I depended on Walker to move a step after minutes of struggles with every step and moves. I also couldn't pick up a glass of water or anything that has weight because my hands were also weakened and twitching. I always felt sad and depressed with this disease because the doctor told us there is no cure and despite all efforts we made to help me improve I never got any better, I took riluzole to help me slow deterioration,he had to recommend a depression pill for me to always take when I'm sad. I never imagined in my life that I could get any better and have this disease totally reversed with natural herbs. We got introduced to Doctor Okolo which has helped so many other people with this disease too but it got me skeptical at a point but still ordered his medicine. I was given instructions to use the medicine and within a few weeks on this medicine I could already feel back strength in my muscles, all twitching and vibrations in my body stopped completely and after a time I could walk without a Walker, all the symptoms completely started reversing gradually. I am completely strong now and I've only been on this herb for three weeks. I will recommend this herbal solution to you if you have or know anyone who struggles with this disease because it's very very effective. Contact DR Okolo on drokolosolutioncenter@gmail.com HIV/AIDS HERPES CANCER DIABETES Alzheimer NPH MND ETC
WHAT A GREAT MIRACLE THAT I HAVE EVER SEE IN MY LIFE. My names are Clara David I’m a citizen of USA, My younger sister was sicking of breast cancer and her name is Sandra David I and my family have taking her to all kind of hospital in USA still yet no good result. I decided to search for cancer cure so that was how I found a lady called Peter Lizzy. She was testifying to the world about the goodness of a herbal man who has the roots and herbs to cure all kinds of disease and the herbal man's email was there. So I decided to contact the herbal man @herbalist_sakura for my younger sister's help to cure her breast cancer. I contacted him and told him my problem he told me that I should not worry that my sister cancer will be cure, he told me that there is a medicine that he is going to give me that I will cook it and give it to my sister to drink for one week, so I ask how can I receive the cure that I am in USA, he told me That I will pay for the delivery service. The courier service can transport it to me so he told me the amount I will pay, so my dad paid for the delivery fee. two days later I receive the cure from the courier service so I used it as the herbal man instructed me to, before the week complete my sister cancer was healed and it was like a dream to me not knowing that it was physical I and my family were very happy about the miracle of Doctor so my dad wanted to pay him 5 million us dollars the herbal man did not accept the offer from my dad, but I don't know why he didn't accept the offer, he only say that I should tell the world about him and his miracle he perform so am now here to tell the world about him if you or your relative is having any kind of disease that you can't get from the hospital please contact dr.sakuraspellalter@gmail.com or WhatsApp him +2348110114739 you can follow him up on Instagram @herbalist_sakura visit his website https://drsakurahealthclinic.wixsite.com/website https://sites.google.com/view/herbalistsakura https://drsakuraspellcentre.blogspot.com/ https://drsakuraspellcentre.wordpress.com/ for the cure, he will help you out with the problem. And if you need more information about the doctor you can mail me davidclara223@gmail.com
I was diagnosed as HEPATITIS B carrier in 2013 with fibrosis of the
liver already present. I started on antiviral medications which
reduced the viral load initially. After a couple of years the virus
became resistant. I started on HEPATITIS B Herbal treatment from
ULTIMATE LIFE CLINIC (www.ultimatelifeclinic.com) in March, 2020. Their
treatment totally reversed the virus. I did another blood test after
the 6 months long treatment and tested negative to the virus. Amazing
treatment! This treatment is a breakthrough for all HBV carriers.
Post a Comment