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You don’t have to understand. Just accept.


There’s a mansion now empty, just waiting for me
At the end of life’s troublesome way
Many friends and dear loved ones will welcome me there
Near the door of that mansion some day

There are some things you’ll never understand. Do you have to?

The singing was robust and pure in typical CoC fashion. The eulogy was touching. The memories were godly.

Who shall separate us from the love of Christ?
Shall tribulation, or distress, or persecution,
or famine, or nakedness, or danger, or sword?

[Shall Alzheimer’s?]
~ Romans 8:35 

The life being remembered last Friday was the full version of one I only knew in the fog. Mrs. H’s fog. I wanted to hear the funeral words. Get the whole story. See what she was really like.

I was surprised that I wasn’t surprised.

Mrs. H was strong. Intelligent. Hospitable. I had seen all those traits in her, even in Alzheimer’s. It was only the details of her earlier life that were unfamiliar.

We first met in the hall at my mom’s assisted living facility last April. She began our conversation with such intelligence that I wondered if she was only in the shallow end of Alzheimer’s. But the more she talked, the more I realized she was in deep.

I remember watching her sing in the community room. She knew her hymns. And she knew her Word. She carried her Bible with her and could toss in godly comments with the best of them.

Mrs. H’s family was attentive. To her; to Jesus. Top-notch folks. They were already our friends and in-laws of our niece.

On the day of the Mother’s Day Tea last May, her son Tony attended as her escort. It brought us to tears. In a room of mostly women, he stood out—as a man devoted to the woman who raised him. A testimony that her goodness had passed down. To her children. To her grandchildren.

Her son Randy spoke at her funeral Friday. He relayed story after story that proved what a good, strong, Christian woman Mrs. H was.

I wondered: why did such a smart, loving woman like Mrs H get Alzheimer’s? Why did my mom? Why does anyone?

It was answered well at her funeral:

“There are some things you don’t have to understand. Just accept.”

What are the mysteries in your life? You may never understand them. But don’t let that slow you down from accepting and enjoying them as you can.

 For I am sure that neither death nor life, 
…nor anything else in all creation,

[not even Alzheimer’s!]
will be able to separate us from the love of God
in Christ Jesus our Lord.

~ Romans 8:38-9

I sure loved Mrs. H when she wandered up and down the halls looking for her keys. I’m glad she’s found them now. And that her unlocked mansion is no longer empty—Mrs. H is home.

When my labor and toiling have ended below
And my hands shall lie folded in rest
I’ll exchange this old home for a mansion up there
And invite the arch angel as guest

* * *



Vintagesouthernlife said...

Lisa, thanks for sharing. This post brought me to tears. My mom began the alzheimer's journey this summer.One of the hardest things I face is wondering if she will lose all communication with her maker?
I have to believe that when she no longer hears or knows us, she will still hear him.
Thanks for the reminder of his promise, nothing will separate us from him.
Blessings, Annette

Saleslady371 said...

You pose questions I wondered also when I accompanied my daughter and granddaughter to the nursing home this week to see her neighbor. There is so much to give to the elderly. They are thrilled to see a child. Your photo is wonderful. You and your siblings look so much alike!

Joan Hall said...

Lisa - this is a beautiful post. I love this - "There are some things you don't have to understand. Just accept."

I've often said there are some things we won't understand this side of Heaven and when we get there - it won't matter.

Thank you for this wonderfully encouraging post.


Whitney said...

Thank you for this sweet post, Aunt Lisa. Thank you for honoring MaVerna's memory. It meant a lot that you and Jeff and Sandy came to the funeral! I know it had to be hard for y'all to remember... I love you!

Nikki (Sarah) said...

Lisa..this is so amazingly written. There's so many things I don't understand...why things happen...but I love what you wrote...she has her key's now. Stay strong okay....and have a great Sunday

Debbie Petras said...

What a beautiful reflection Lisa! There are some things we don't understand but simply ...accept for now. I love your heart of love for others.

Blessings and love,

Donnie said...

What a beautiful tribute to a lovely lady. My mother had Alzheimers and was clearer the last 3 weeks of her life and I'm so grateful for that. Have a blessed Sunday.

Ginger~~Enchanting Cottage said...

This must of been a wonderful service for Mrs. H. Some day we will understand,but not here on this earth.

Renee said...

There are so many things we do not understand..just need to accept ~ whether it is disease, death, or other struggles....beautiful post Lisa. An encouraging and hopeful post.

Charlotte said...

You are so right. There are things we don't understand and can't understand. "We'll understand it all by and by" is the line in an old hymn. That is something I can understand.
Thank you for sharing.


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