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Does it ever change?

Kali_handprintsI’m watching the tale of two pregnancies.

One is a young first-time mother.

She is very excited. The room decorations are up and the tiny baby girl clothes are washed and hung. She has the name and the love all ready for her daughter’s arrival.

The other is a second-time mother.

She is very anxious. Once her baby is born, he likely will die. Or so the doctors predict. He’s sick. But she also has a name and a love ready for her baby’s arrival. And possible departure.

I relate to both.
Although neither young mom may understand I understand.

I remember when Kali grew sick inside me and then died after birth, unable to breathe our earth-air. I’d be told of older ladies who had lost children too.

But what could they know of my pain? Back in their day, they often didn’t even mention infant death.

Could they understand my pain?

I found out when I talked to them.
The tears in their eyes answered yes
Of course they knew.
The love of a parent doesn’t change with generation or time.

Neither does its pain. 

Even though it’s been 17 years since I last saw Kali, the years are irrelevant. I still wonder what she would have looked like at each age, how she would have processed life, what her favorite foods would have been.

How it would have felt to hold her hand.

Some things don’t change.

The age of the parent doesn’t matter.
The age of the child doesn’t matter.
Love matters.

God is love.
God matters.

The Father holds my daughter’s hand.
He holds mine.
He holds the hands of both young mothers that I’m watching.

And their tiny children’s hands.
Here or there.

The love is ready.
The love is alive.
That will never change.

* * *
If you’d like, please join me in praying for both young mothers and families as due dates approach for their sweet babies.


Diana Lovegrove said...

Oh, Lisa! Thank you for sharing your heart. Thank you for your faith. Thank you for continuing to stand firm in Him, for the encouragement you are. I really don't know what else to say. May God bless you.

Lisa notes... said...

I do feel God has blessed me this morning directly from your words. Thank YOU for your encouragement. Pouring our hearts out on-screen is always easier among friends. I appreciate your kindness to me.

Jill {Sweet Diva} said...

I truly can only try to imagine what losing a child must be like. I know that your willingness to tell your story must encourage so many others who share such heartache. Rejoicing with you that you will one day be reunited, and that when you will never again be separated, and thankful for the faith that gives such hope! Thank you for sharing the stories of others in need of prayer....they now have 1 more petitioning the Lord on their behalf.
So glad I found you through Faith following so I can come back! =)

Lisa notes... said...

I love that it is often in our stories that we find hope. God is so wise. I’m thankful that stories of children dying young can ultimately end in hope. Reunion is definitely a HUGE icing on the cake for heaven. Thank you for praying for these girls and babies. What a blessing!

Barbara H. said...

As Jill said, I can only imagine what ti is like to lose a child, especially so early. I do remember wrestlings with fear and prayer over things that could possibly go wrong. Though all of us can empathize, pray, and encourage, you're in a unique position to
comfort others with the comfort wherewith you've been comforted" (forgive me for not taking time to look up the reference just now.) Thank you for being open to do so. Sometimes we want to clutch pain close to our hearts in privacy, but God can use it for His glory if we let Him, and you do.

Lisa notes... said...

Although I’ve forgotten her name, I’ll always remember the young mother who let me come to her house a few months after I lost Kali and hold her newborn. I was having a real problem being around babies so she offered the privacy of her home and her child to help me get over the hump.

It is wonderful how God puts people in our lives at just the right times to comfort us in ways we need.

Michelle DeRusha said...

Oh Lisa, I didn't know about Kali. I am so very sorry for your loss. Your comment above makes me cry -- God's love shown through that new mother who helped you take a big step toward healing.

I will pray for the two mothers to be.

Lisa notes... said...

Thank you for praying, Michelle. I know God hears each of our prayers and I trust him to send extra blessings to the new moms because of them.

Another neat thing about that mom that helped me years ago: she really didn’t know me very well. We had met in aerobics class (yeah, it’s been awhile) and were more casual acquaintances than friends. Shortly after that incident she found out she had lupus and wasn’t supposed to have any more children, but she did (all went well).

And her name just hit me! Joan! Maybe I’ll run into her somewhere now and remind her of how much she still means to me…

Caroline said...

Oh, Lisa. Thank you for sharing. It's hard to thank for something like this, but just thank you for sharing your heart and our Hope. I read some of the Kali posts. I'm crying. I want to go curl up next to my son.

I'm praying for the new mommas.

Lisa notes... said...

You have a tender heart, Caroline. That is a good thing. I appreciate your sweet words and thank you for your prayers. Yes, go love on your precious boy…. God is so good.

tinuviel said...

Thank you for your sharing and your compassion. May the Lord bless, strengthen, and comfort both young mothers for what lies ahead of them. May He pour His love into their hearts in the joy and in the pain. May He let them know in their own heart-language that He is with them.

Lisa notes... said...

Such a beautiful prayer. I will pass it along to both ladies so they can feel comfort that people they don't even know are caring and praying for them... Such power among God's people. It astounds me.

Katie said...

Thank you for sharing your heart and pain. I love that you are willing to share your heart and help others with it.

Lisa notes... said...

It's a neat thing that when we share our hearts and pains that it builds up one and lessens the other. Thanks for your encouragement, Katie.

Donna said...

Yes, Lisa: love matters, God matters. Praying for the two mothers. Thank you for sharing your story - your words heal.

Anonymous said...

It tears at the heart, Lisa. But even though you knew her for a short time, you still loved her; still ove her.

Unknown said...

Lisa, I'm definitely including them in my prayers along with my daughter-in-law. She's due late July/early Aug. Thank you for inviting us into the privilege of praying with you all.

Much Love,

Bonnie Gray said...

Lisa, I'm reaching across the cafe table and squeezing your hand. Oh, what pain. What love. What sorrow. What love. What love. Thank you for showing us your Kali -- I can't wait to see her together in heaven one day! *tears*

Lisa notes... said...

I found out that the second mother had her baby last week, after her son died inside her. Such a sad, sad time for her. Please pray for her and her family...


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