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Would you love anyway?

The only way love can last a lifetime is if it’s unconditional.

The truth is this:
     love is not determined by the one
being loved
     but rather by the one
choosing to love.

~ Stephen and Alex Kendrick
The Love Dare

i love my husbandWhy do you love your husband? Your wife?

I love my husband because he’s...

  • godly
  • generous
  • servant-minded
  • masculine
  • easy-going
  • hard-working
  • committed
  • protective
  • fun
  • honest

...and because he’s in love with me.

But what if, God forbid, that ever changed?
What if, over time, he became selfish and hard and bitter...and he stopped loving me?

Would I stop loving him?

God forbid.

You see it happen all the time...when one either becomes or perceives their partner as unlovable. And what happens? All love stops. On both sides.

It’s easier to stop altogether than to continue loving the unlovable.

But may believers do the hard thing.

  • May you love like Hosea, despite his wife being trashy.
  • May you love like God, despite his children running as rebels.
  • May you love like Jesus, despite your nails dug deep in his flesh.

Choose love. Not because of who others are—deserving or not, but because it’s who you are. His.

Always loved, designed to always love.

* * *

Have you seen someone love the unlovable?


Julie said...

Love it...YES! love the lipstick mark on your man... sweet! And yes...sometimes the love we desire may not be coming to us and so we feel we can't "reflect" it back...but God gave us our man to mirror back to us the way we are appearing to him as he looks our it is definitely intentional Lisa! Choosing to let the love we know Gid gives reflect onto our husbands...full and well!!! it will come back to us...if we trust...:-) Hugs and thanks for a great post!

Trisha said...

Sweet and true, Lisa. What a sweet picture of you and your Beloved!

Marriage is hard work, and part of the lesson is learning it's not all about "me" but instead all about glorifying Him.

Melissa said...

I see people giving up on marriage all the time - it's part of my job, and I really don't like that aspect of it.

I'm thankful to have a husband who loves me so, and who is very loveable. I pray that if those things ever change (as you said, God forbid!), I can love him with the love of Christ.

Love is hard work sometimes, despite what the world tries to tell us.

Barbara H. said...

"Love is not determined by the one
being loved but rather by the one
choosing to love." Very true, very poignant, not so easy. :-) Only by God's grace.

Lisa notes... said...

Ouch. Feeling we can’t “reflect it back” if we’re not getting it from the one we think we “need” it from… Great point. It IS all about trust! God always will provide.

I’m not sure how old I was before it really hit me that it’s not all about “me” NOR is it even all about my husband, but it’s all about glorifying God. I pray that I can pass that down to my children at a younger age than I got it…. Thankful to have friends like you who encourage that.

Lisa notes... said...

I know what you mean; my husband loves me so much that it’s hard to imagine otherwise. I certainly don’t deserve it, but I definitely revel in it. I have lived without being loved in a marriage with my first husband; it was quite miserable and really tested my ability to forgive over and over. After all was said and done, it left me battle-scarred but very appreciative of the new life and love I now have…

Christine said...

What a powerful question to ask! Beautiful post, and challenge to us all.

Craig said...

I’ve been at blissdom and now have blissdom plague – blech. I missed your words.

I get what you are saying – love is a choice isn’t it?

And you are choosing minute by minute. I heart that!

And loving the unlove-able? Been there – doing that – hard but what God wants. And what he wants…

God bless
Thank you for this.

God Bless

Donna said...

Beautifully written words so true.
"...designed to always love."

Love is in the DNA of God's children. Receiving and giving love are traits of the Father shared with His children.
Thank you for writing, Lisa.

Jennifer said...

I work with injured people and my husband asked early in our marriage if I would leave him if he became a quadriplegic. (A situation I saw happen at work.) We assured each other we would stick together no matter what, but the emotional things you mention are hard, too. Would we stick together? Not without God.


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