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Cemetery people

If you’re a cemetery person, you’ll get this.
If you’re not, that’s okay.

kali's 17th birthdayI didn’t know I was one until we buried our baby.

Then I discovered I find comfort at the cemetery, talking to my baby, listening to God. It gives me something to do: clean off the marker, rearrange the flowers, bring trinkets to set out.

I know she’s not there in spirit. But since it’s the last place her body was, I find solace visiting anyway.

Yesterday when we brought fresh flowers for her 17th birthday, we walked to my mother’s grave a few yards away. And to our surprise, her marker was in. I suppose they laid it Friday and hadn’t called us yet to let us know.

For reasons I can’t explain, it feels good to know that my mom’s grave is now properly marked. And just in time for my daughter’s birthday.

So if it doesn’t seem too morbid to say, today I’m grateful for cemeteries and for the comfort some of us get there.

* * *

Is it healing or hurtful for you to visit a cemetery?


Joyce said...

Lisa, I'm sorry I didn't know about your baby girl. She is celebrating her 17th with love ones surrounding her.

I think going to a cemetery would be comforting. My dad was cremated. I have a bit of his ashes and they give me comfort.

Many hugs to you my friend. xo

Unknown said...

I personally go to a cemetery and find comfort. I don't know what it is, but I find peace, and when I've been I have talked to my loved ones, and taken small gifts too.
I can't imagine losing a child, I know you will be enjoying her company again one day.

Barbara H. said...

I have not been to my mom's graveside since her funeral. It's 1,000 miles away, and my step-father and sisters have been here a few times, but we haven't been there yet. I hadn't thought about it before, but I think it would be comforting to visit it.

Anonymous said...

I used to do genealogy and my family and I would go to cemetaries to do research. It was a quiet, peaceful place and we would take a picnic lunch along.

Joan Hall said...

I enjoy exploring old cemeteries. I ponder on how the people lived, what their lives were like, and if they were a young person, what tragedy might have befallen them.

I've also found comfort in visiting the cemetery where my parents are buried. Though I know they are not really there, it is the place their bodies were laid to rest and someday, those bodies will rise to join Jesus in the air.

So yes, you can say I'm a cemetery person.

Dorothy said...

Lisa, I fell behind in my blog reading but couldn't let this (or your last post) pass without telling you that I care and am praying for you, sweet sister.

Hazel said...

I'm so sorry you lost a baby girl. I clicked on this post because yes, I'm a cemetery person although I didn't even know that's the term for me. Well, thanks now I know. At first I thought I was just weird - feeling 'nice' reading epithets, inwardly bursting to life visiting Anne Bronte's grave in England, integrating a cemetery quiz/game with my students' field trip. When my father died, the cemetery person in me just got more evident.

Thank you for this post. It feels good to resolve this doubt on my emotional and mental health.

Camille said...

I like visiting the cemetery where our son is buried. We think of it as his resurrection bed. Won't it be wonderful when the Lord calls us Home as well? Until then....may we faithfully follow. He is good...always. Blessings, Camille

Lisa notes... said...

...his "resurrection bed"... what a lovely phrase. It will definitely be a beautiful reunion when we finally all get to see our children again. Heaven holds so much hope! Blessings to you too.


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