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Still scared of the dark


And God said, “Let there be light,” and there was light.
And God saw that the light was good. And God separated the light from the darkness.

Genesis 1:3-4

I’m still scared of the dark.
I can’t seem to fully outgrow it.

But I can do things in the light that I’m scared to do in the dark.

So when R needed a ride home last Wednesday with her three boxes of food, I eagerly volunteered to take her. Even though I’d just met her and didn’t know where she lived. All because it was still light.

She directed me left, then right, then fourth door on the right. We were now in the projects.

I stopped the car in the one-lane drive in front of her place. But as we unloaded the boxes, another car pulled up behind me, with no room to pass. I said a rushed good-bye to R and moved along.

But leaving wasn’t so easy. Going forward, I intersected another one-way street, but which way was the right way? A couple cars drove by me from the north, but north was also the only exit in sight. I needed to get out while it was still light. While I could still see.

I backed up, let the cars pass, then drove forward again, north, and out, leaving the projects behind.

Still in daylight. Made it. But had it been dark, I would have been scared. And maybe rightly so. Scarier things do happen in the dark.

So I’m thankful I don’t have to live there. In the dark. Instead, I live in perpetual Light. Light from the inside (Ephesians 5:8). Light even from sundown to sunrise.

I still try to stay out of the shadows when I can, but when I need to shine a light in a dark place, I want to be brave enough to go there.

Because I can do things with Light that I’m scared to do in dark. Like drive to the projects with a girl I just met. And talk to her about Jesus. And continue to pray for her and her 1-year-old baby girl and hopefully get a conversation going should I see her again this week.

I pray for grace to outgrow my fear of the dark. Of the things I imagine are lurking there to grab me. And leave behind the nightmares of turning on a light switch but no light coming on (anybody else have those?).

But until I do, I want to keep looking into the Light. So I can see.
That he’s always there.
Always bright.
Always on.

Jesus spoke to them, saying, “I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will not walk in darkness, but will have the light of life.”
John 8:12

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Are you ever scared of the dark, too? What helps you fight it?


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