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I owe God an apology


Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life.
No one comes to the Father except through me.”

John 14:6

Dear God,
I owe you an apology.

I know I fussed at You all the way to the hospital about why You let some people go through the trials of Job when we clearly have been crying out to You for help on their behalf.

Not only do I not see the help, but I see even more struggles.

But when I got to the ER waiting room, I discovered there was something else You wanted me to do there. A different reason besides just accusing You of not helping.

It was because You had more work for me to do. And it wasn’t what I thought.

I’ve been thinking lately about Jesus being The Way. And since He travels in me, where I go, He goes.

So when I showed up in the waiting room, You showed up too.

Nobody else knew it. But You knew. You knew where You wanted to go. 

  • So I prayed for my friend and her pain.
  • And for the abnormally skinny girl that looked so unhealthy and so alone.
  • And for the teen girl in cleats with a broken arm from a softball game.
  • And for the older couple on the phone getting backup help for the flowers they were supposed to provide for a wedding on Friday but not now.
  • And for the well-dressed man from out of town with his daughter who had fallen ill on their trip.
  • And for the poor-looking young couple with their 2-year-old daughter, who I couldn’t imagine having insurance.

And for the middle-aged white woman who had been fussing at you 30 minutes earlier.

We all need You.

On my drive home (as I prayed for the driver of the truck weaving in front of me), I knew You still loved me. You weren’t upset that I had been upset. Because You know I still have to trust You, even when I don’t understand.

What choice do I have? You’re it. I know that.

You know what You’re doing. You do give help. I apologize for whining when I can’t see it.  

But I thank You for giving me the courage to keep talking to You anyway about what You’re doing and what You’re not doing. And for letting me always expect more.

Trusting You—especially when I can’t see You—is the most fearless thing I ever do.

Your grace has me so covered that I can’t see past You. May it always be so.

I walk in You. You are my path. You are enough, when I see You, and even when I don’t.

I love you, Father,

Notice, he doesn’t say, “walk to him”—as if we were on our own, separated from him and needing somehow to get to him by way of our own obedience.

He says we’re to walk in him—to walk in Christ, in his strength.

Christ is big enough, wide enough, long enough, solid enough to be your path for now and eternity—your lifelong road and everlasting highway.
~ TULLIAN TCHIVIDJIAN, Jesus + Nothing = Everything

Therefore, as you received Christ Jesus the Lord,
so walk in him.
Colossians 2:6

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