“NO. NO. NO.”
Amy is certain. She does not want to do it. Others are doing it. Laughing all the while. Having fun and feeling comfortable.
But not Amy.
This is different. Too different for her. She has never done it and it’s scary. It is loud; it is unpredictable; it is so…not Amy.
So she stands back and watches. One after one, she sees her friends try it and enjoy.
“No. No. No.”
I ask her once more, thinking this time she will try it. But she stands her ground of refusal. I understand, and stop asking.
Then it happens. The idea of sitting on a balloon and popping it becomes less scary than not trying it. So Amy says, “I want to.”
We quickly pull a pink balloon out of our plastic bag and hand it to Amy, a 40-something developmentally-disabled woman at Rainbow Omega. She takes it, lays it on the metal chair, and…
Pop!
She has tried different, and different is good. She waves a smile.
She then walks away, but I continue to see her standing there, at the moment of change, the moment of choice, the moment when she sat on her fear and it popped into growth.
I want to be like Amy.
* * * * *
Lord, when it’s my turn to sit on the balloon, don’t give up asking me. Even when I say, “No. No. No.”
Ask me again later; give me another opportunity; just don’t give up. Because in time, maybe I’ll work up my courage to step away from my “no’s” and plop right down on a noisy, unpredictable adventure of “different.”
Even if it is challenging.
Even if it is scary.
Even if it is so…not me.
Because maybe I’ll see it’s more scary to not try than to try.
And you will hear my heart say, “I want to.”
