What if you’re still hungry?

Blessed are those who hunger and thirst for righteousness, for they shall be satisfied.
Matthew 5:6

Frankly, there are days when I don’t feel full. I don’t feel quenched.
I still hunger. I still thirst.

I watch the men and women walk through the food line at the Manna House, some with children in tow.

I wonder who is really hungry...

• ...who hasn’t had steak in months (years?)
• ...who goes to bed (if they have one) only dreaming of awakening to sizzling bacon for breakfast
• ...who can’t comprehend three meals plus two snacks...every single day

We offer them choices. I'm working the dessert line, appropriately enough. They can have any two desserts—leftover cakes and pastries donated by local bakeries and stores. Beautifully decorated. Sugary-sweet.

Some want more than two. Who am I to say no? If not eaten immediately, they pile the food in their Walmart bags for later.

But some just say, “No thanks.” This isn’t what they’re looking for.

What am I looking for?
What will satisfy my hunger?
Is it only the delicacies of life, the sweet things that make me feel happy?  The easy days, the trouble-free friendships, the sunny seasons?

I know Jesus is filling. So why don’t I feel full all the time?

I think it’s my appetite. 

It’s still not fully trained, not fully disciplined to understand what fully satisfies, what fully nourishes.
Like those in the dessert line, I gaze at my options.

• Am I choosing wisely?
• Am I training my palate to appreciate healthy foods?
• Am I consistently thanking God for sweet blessings he provides as dessert?

Am I hungering and thirsting for...righteousness (Matt. 6:33)?

We leave the Manna House.

I wash my hands at Five Guys and Fries. I look at the faces in line to order. Nobody here seems starving. Nobody in this line looks like anybody in the other line I just left. 

I eat my hot hamburger fixed just the way I like it, with as many French fries on the side as I want. My stomach is full.
 
Is my soul?

Jesus said to them, “I am the bread of life;
whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and
whoever believes in me shall never thirst.”
John 6:35

Lord,
Fill me with more of you when I’m still hungry.
Only you can satisfy; only you are enough.
Help me come to you more; help me believe in you more.
I want to not hunger; I want to never thirst.

* * *

How do you fill up on Jesus when you’re hungry?